Thursday, January 5, 2012

Trying to Sound Normal and Describe Torture at Same Time

I just need to focus on a few small things with the cases with my son and finish my complaint about torture to the UN.

I sent something to them in a panic, after being obstructed from being able to attend to legal matters on account of severe torture, for the 11th time.

I tried to explain I end up blogging instead and being focuses on trying to get word out we're being tortured instead of able to focus on what needs to be done without my electricity being cut off repeatedly, being tortured, and being drugged. And then I start feeling like, even though it's extremely bad, that I might sound too crazy if all I talk about is torture, so I write about other things and vegan foods and then it starts making it sound like I'm fine, we're fine, and it's not so bad.

It is very bad.

I have had a little time usually, during the day, to make myself something to eat or clean a little, and I write about things that I randomly came up with, but I'm not happily puttering around doing hobbies and cooking. I try to write about a few normal things, just to show I'm normal. But this is not to minimize how badly we've been tortured and how long either.

In my case, it's always been about obstructing justice. I can map out an entire trail of what's been done to me and the lies made to put me in jail or make me sound bad and then torture me to prevent me from correcting anything.

On that note, I never had a breakdown. I've had a "meltdown" when I lose my temper or freak out because the torture is so severe, after days and then months and years. There is, however, nothing wrong with any of us.

On that note, last night I discovered burdock root and licorice boiled together with a touch of ginko makes a flavor that is very close to maple flavoring. It's almost exactly like maple syrup. I made tea. I have tried to focus a little on my health because with all the torture, it makes anything else 10x worth and I'm constantly tired too. But I found a maple syrup substitute sort of, for pancakes, though I'm still vegan (except for bee pollen), gluten, dairy, yeast, sugar, and fruit free. Today for my only short break, I made chocolate wacky cake with gold flaxseed I ground up, and xylitol. I bought xylitol, a sweetener, because I was trying to find something that's not bad for systemic stuff, and at first I thought it sounded too close to antifreeze but then I read about antifungal activity and decided for short term, benefits outweigh risks for me at the moment. It acts sort of the way amphotericin B works, but milder.

Anyway, that's all. And I added organic extra virgin olive oil to my essential oils with coconut oil and they blend and sort of make a soft cold cream but I'm still working on them, or letting them sit to blend, for my mom.

It took about 20 minutes out of my entire day, yesterday and today, to discover these things so since it's normal, I'm sharing, but it's not to detract from literal torture.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Wear a tin foil hat. That should do it.