Patriot and Family of Spies (John Walker)

I watched "The Patriot" the night before yesterday. And then the next morning, I don't usually watch movies first thing in the a.m., but I watched "Family of Spies", which is a movie about the true life story of John Walker and his family and how they sold secrets to the Russians while employed with the U.S. military.

It was strange, the timing of watching the Walker movie, because before I picked it up or even realized it was about Walkers, I had been thinking about Princess Di's designer, Catherine Walker. I thought, I think this was symbolic in some way.

What happened, was that I was in my place, thinking about or looking up Catherine Walker online and supplement stuff, and then I decided to return some movies and pick up new ones, at my parent's house. I didn't feel like watching the rest of "Legally Blond", "Chariots of Fire," or "Anna and the King" explaining, "Legally Blond is just depressing this time around. I don't need anything that has to do with lawyers, english competition, or kings--I think about this too much already."

So I turned them in.

I was looking through movies to pick up and grabbed a few and then for the first time, when I picked up "Family of Spies" I read the back and noticed the name. John Walker. I said to my mom, "This is kind of interesting because I was just thinking about Catherine Walker, Diana's designer". My mom said, "Oh?" and that was it.

I chose The Patriot, Family of Spies, and "The Robe" (an old movie I've never seen and haven't watched yet). So I watched The Patriot, and noticing most "Susan" the little girl who can't talk or doesn't and is carrying a red-haired doll around after her mother dies. And I noticed the part where he melts down his son's toy soldiers, of English soldiers, I believe, to make handmade bullets to fight for freedom from tyranny. In a way, I think of it only now, but one movie was about the "treason" of many, who defied England, and the other movie was about the treason of a few who were U.S. citizens selling secrets to Russia. I loved all the dresses in The Patriot. And I liked what the frenchman said about at least he will look good when he dies. It's strange to think how we are sometimes allied with one country the first so many decades and then all of a sudden, we're fighting against them and becoming friends with those who were once enemies. This is really strange, to imagine. So I watched the one movie and then the next morning I watched "Family of Spies". After seeing so many trash bag "drops", I guess I decided to go out and clean up the yard and put a few things into garbage sacks and water the flowers. So I was doing this and then, there are 3 footbridges on this property and I was on one of them and it's more of a makeshift bridge, with a board, and rocks in the water, and bricks, and it's kind of pretty in it's own way. I went right to it, and pulled up a board. Underneath was no trash. Just bugs and leaves. I was looking for something but I didn't know what. Nothing was sticking out of the ground at all. So I moved the leaves aside and kept looking and then I digged a little into the dirt and found... a handmade bullet. I thought about the handmade bullets from the movie The Patriot and then as I stepped onto a rock into the stream, a frog leaped past.

This property is about 2 or more acres and there are all kinds of footbridges, trees, brush, porches, and rocks and flowerbeds, and I went right to the one with a buried bullet. Well, not immediately, because first I picked up other things, but then I added a handmade bullet to the trash bag.

Then I finished up and went back and later looked up John Walker. After I looked him up and read more, I looked up "first time Diana wore Catherine Walker dress". It said she was photographed in 1982 but maybe they met in 1981, not sure. The only photo I pulled up was of Di in a green and white polka dot dress and it said it was worn when she left the hospital after giving birth to William. I've seen the photo before but for some reason, I thought about my dress I wore for my class photo which my mother made for me, in green and white polka dots. It never entered my mind in the past but yesterday it did. I was a little over 7 years old, about 8, and I wore my green and white polka dots when I was 5-6, a year or two earlier, for my first class photo for kindergarten standing next to Mrs. Buckley.

I think there is some kind of message in Catherine Walker. I don't exactly know what it is, but I was intuitively picking up on something. I don't know what but I feel it. It's not making irrelevant connections, it's just a hunch. She wore a sailor dress by Walker leaving the hospital, but I'd still like to know when they first met or worked together and if she picked her out or someone brought it to Di's attention.

(sniff sniff...feeling like a bloodhound--I smell mystery)

I don't think this escaped attention (what she wore) by someone or some group. I think, if I was thinking of Catherine Walker (when I never do) and then happened to walk in about 10 minutes later and realized the Families of Spies is about a John Walker, there might be something to it. It's pointing to something but I'm not sure what. Either anaology maybe or something more direct.

John Walker retired from the Navy and became a private detective while he was in espionage. He was doing other jobs for people aside from just selling military secrets to the Russians. It is said his wife "outed" him in May of 1985 but the Russian handler says no, he was outed possibly earlier, by an FBI spy in Moscow who overheard them talking. What's strange, is thinking about FBI doing work overseas and CIA doing work domestically. It's supposedly the reverse, with FBI being domestic and CIA being abroad, but I have heard too many stories and now think they mix it up a little. Why? I don't know. Why would the FBI send a spy to Russia? or have one in Russia? why wouldn't they just rely on the FBI unless they don't trust eachother. Walker thought he'd get immunity through the CIA but the FBI grabbed him, with or without FBI consent.

So the son, Michael, was released for his participation, in 2000. He's in the U.S. on parole. I can't imagine what he's doing or what he thinks about.

It might be interesting to know when the trip to Moscow was.

Anyway, then, another weird thing happened yesterday.

I had the song I'm a Survivor come to mind and then I thought, no, I want to listen to "Fighter" by Christina Aguillera. So I was thinking about it but decided I needed a candy bar so I walked to the store. I got back and was hanging around my mom, looking at what she was looking at and she was just scrolling past some messages from people. I saw a photo of the Avilas all dressed mainly in black and then turquoise dresses and my son there and he has his fists up or something, smiling. It just upset me, to see, because of what the State of Washington and others have done in kidnapping my son and trying to break our bond. Everything that has been done has been fraudulent and one of the worst examples of public corruption I've ever seen or heard of. So I left without a word.

I have been trying to get a straight answer out of the AG and CPS for a long time, about whether they have a legal restraining order blocking me from even talking to my son over the phone or not. They always claim they don't and it's up to my aunt, but they have had an illegal and fraudulent cover of being my son's "guardian". Some guardian. Boy does the U.S. do a great job acting as "guardian" of children. Wow. Just imagine what the U.S. Marshalls service is really like, come to think of it (and I wanted protection from THEM? when the U.S. abuses and allows abuse of my son while he's in their "guardianship"? The "State" is the same thing as the U.S. government). So when I talk to my aunt and her family everyone says they are constantly instructed by CPS to not allow my son any contact with me and whether it's verbal or in writing, they are required to go along with it.

This is contradictory information and I've asked for clear instructions in writing, about the level of obstruction that the U.S. is responsible for.

I went back to my place and shot out an email to the AG again, because once again, they are being evasive.

And then I decided to look up the song "Fighter" and this time without myself in mind, but with my son in mind. So I thought, he was ripped from his mother and kidnapped by the U.S. "guardians" when he was only 1 1/2 years old. So I went to the 2nd tab and scrolled down halfway to equal 1 1/2 tabs and played the clip that came up.

It was "Michael and Nikita fight in the sauna". And then from there, the next clip that came up, because I wanted more of the song, was "Fighter Nikita" and the entire thing has the same blue and black colors that my son was surrounded by in the family photo. It has Chinese subtitles. My favorite part was the scene where she is handcuffed and chained to the ceiling and she raises herself up and pulls the round braces at the top down. I was noticing these things on our front porch that look exactly like these same things, but they're plastic. And I love how she comes through the elevator and this woman looks like she's seeing a ghost, or someone back from the dead, and says "Nikita!"

I'll add the clips here.

This morning I was trying to find this christian alternative song done by a female artist and with electric guitar and it's something about "...we were shipwrecked..." and then there is a part about "...we are the rescued ones..." and I can't find it anywhere so I wrote an email to the radio station (The Edge), to see if they could help me out with the title. I'll post it when I get it.

1. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UBjlkctq5A0
2. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_bv2NNFhqC8&feature=related

I remember. I wanted that part of the song. "Thought I would forget, oh but, I remember."

I looked up the wiki on "Nikita" after watching the clips. It's a t.v. series (I didn't know), about a woman who is part of a group that was brainwashed and stripped of their identity in order to be used by the government and she finds out little by little, starts piecing it together, and goes "rogue" on them. The color on the bar for the wikipage was the same color of the t-shirt I was wearing when I looked it up.

With no family history of mental illness, isn't it convenient to create something as a cover in case someone starts to figure things out? This has not only been extremely dangerous to my life and safety, it is dangerous for my son.

My son is being set up to be used at a young age, and then if he tries to talk about it, what was the plan? "Well your mother was diagnosed with paranoid schitzophrenia and it's inherited and you have it to."

Nice way to retire an asset that gets in the way, isn't it? This is not going to happen to my son.

By the way, there is a difference between a spy who agrees to be a spy and someone who is abused for research purposes, without their consent. Agreeing to work someplace where one is being used is not "consent" when it is made the only option. That's called "human trafficking and exploitation" on top of "high crimes and misdemeanors" in using humans for experimental reasons and torture.

And no, not everyone in the U.S. is "bad" by any means, but there have been bad ones in charge when this happened to me and my son and as long as it continues, this means they are still in charge.

Sometimes it's gross politics. I heard a story not so long ago, about food being taken from people in all these different areas, so it could go to one group in one location where the Olympics were being held, and this was to make them look good. They took even food from the poorest just to enhance and allow another group to shine and excel, not on their own merit at all but just for appearance.
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I didn't know if I was going to write about this, because I didn't know what I thought when I asked my Dad why he wasn't eating the salad and he should eat salad and he made this hissing cat face. I cracked up laughing and then I asked to borrow the salad dressing for my salad and I wanted Catalina.

I didn't tell him then, about my dream this morning but I did this afternoon and I guess I'll share. It was a cat dream. I don't know why I had it but the last living creature I said goodnight to, was this cat. But it wasn't that cat in the dream. I was holding some kind of a bengal tiger kitten cat. It was longer and a little larger than a regular house cat. It was orange yellow and had black stripes and meowed up at me. Maybe not a bengal or maybe so..some different kind of variety...So I was carrying all over the place and it was a very large house and I worried if I let go of it something would happen to it. Then I went outside later and next to the dumpster were a bunch of cats in bodybags. They weren't body bags for kids, or adults, in my dream I knew they were cat body bags. They were fully zipped up and everything, in these body bags, a whole handful or so. The other part of my dream was that I was trying to find a decent book to read and being watched, at a bookstore, and it was a health related book, two of the same kind were next to eachother. But I woke up after the cats in body bags part. There wasn't a bad feeling to the dream at all. And the cat I was carrying was healthy and fine. In my dream I thought, "It's a bengal tiger kitten" but it wasn't the more subdued color I've seen on some and it wasn't spots. It was definitely more orange yellow and had stripes.

So imagine what I thought when my Dad greets me with a big cat hiss this morning. He was joking around but I said nothing about my dream, grabbing the Catalina and thinking, "that's weird." It's not like I find my Dad hissing like a cat everyday.

Then I had a nap bc I was really tired this afternoon and at the end, we were driving up a winding dirt road on the top of this hill, at the very top, and a white iron gate was all the way around and at first I thought we were at the top of a very small private cemetary but then I saw tables outside and realized it was a nice place to have brunch and we were figuring out what their hours were. 8:30 a.m. opening on most days except for one, where they opened at 7 a.m.

I'm cleaning today or tonight and I was wearing one of my favorite t-shirts, pale blue with a hint of grey, and I unzipped my jade green jacket to find little marks over my chest where the zipper had made marks and then I was fixing these lilies and got orange pollen from the stamens all over the bottom of my shirt. If I can't find a good remedy, I guessit will be my painters shirt.