I have so many things to do I can't think straight.
I have stuff to pick up and file, and I'm getting off track. I have to write my OIG complaint still and I'm determined to do this before I leave D.C. I like D.C. in general though and I know I'll be back.
I like the international community especially--makes it fun.
However, it's true this place is more dangerous than one would think initially. In different ways.
I have to file a bunch of stuff before I go anywhere. But I'm going to get my son back, I'm just collecting documentation and medical records and things.
Last night I had the bad vibe again, between 8-9:30 pm, after I met up with someone and went back to my car it just hit me but I don't know what it was exactly. I have noticed it happens, lately, after I have been speaking with certain individuals and then leave, but maybe there's something else going on, I've no idea.
Someone asked me if I could feel these sorts of things cross-country or just local or with people I knew or strangers or what. I'll write more about it later.
I like "safety dance", and I'm listening to this and ending on this note to get some other things taken care of. Might be back for music later.l
2 comments:
I do not think you should marry this Columbian guy. My guess is that he's only going for a green card and any promises about helping you, Oliver, etc, will likely not come through. I bet the "bad vibes" you've been feeling lately are really just overall stress/anxiety knowing that this marriage is coming up, and knowing inside that it is a mistake. You should be focusing on getting yourself help and trying to be closer to your son - not marrying a Columbian you only met a few weeks ago.
Dear Anonymous,
thank you so much for your well-intended comment. I can tell you are writing sincerely and I appreciate this.
I've had my family and others guess as to how long i've known my boyfriend, but I've never told anyone except the people here.
I definitely have my eyes open and I wish I had more money for my own P.I., frankly. But I am having to go on intuition and while I have good instincts, I don't always know which direction they're pointing towards. I definitely have honed senses of something being wrong or right or "off" or negative and then positive...but I don't always know what it's about.
I've been very stressed, but I am thinking PRIMARILY and first and foremost, about my son and his best interests.
He is my number one guide to any decision making. I am thinking about him first, over myself and any and every personal desire I may have.
Believe me.
As for green card, it's true he isn't national and would be able to work and stay here if he married me, however, two of my aunts married men like this and they're still married to this day, and also, well, I've always been one for charity and sacrifice.
LOL. He would kill me. he can't read enough english but I'm sure someone out there is informing him on what i write.
there are pros and cons to everything. i'm trying to avoid all cons, in every sense of the word.
If he wasn't trustworthy, why would he tell me the things he's told me, but if he IS, why do I wonder about a couple of things?
I got an email from my aunt holly, a negative one sort of, where she's telling me she hopes it "works out" for me and my son but it's more like she's writing it won't bc she writes "with someone you just met". I know for a fact my aunt holly had never even had ONE boyfriend before her husband and she married him when she was 18 and he spoke NO english and she spoke NO spanish and he was a worker in the orchard with no green card.
He was an illegal alien, but she thinks she can point a finger at me. Oh, and she was protestant and he was catholic.
There have been some things "going on" in the spirit or intuitive realm but I don't know what it is for sure I'm picking up on. I'm just paying attention, to everything.
i will not be allowing this guy to adopt my son. I wouldn't allow ANYONE at any time to adopt my son. My son belongs to me and I would never jeopardize a custody issue with him, for the very reason no one knows for sure, what will happen in marriage.
Some people marry after 5 years together and divorce 2 years latr. others marry after a few days and stay together for life. people marry for different reasons and while I have always believed in a soulmate, or more than one, this is not always necessary for marriage. throughout history, peopole have married.
besides, my family, if anything, should like the idea i wouldn't be 'living in sin' if I marry the dude.
free sex pass for christians.
i will say one thing, i did realize not too long ago that i had fallen in love without intending to, for maybe, probably, the first time in my life.
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