thoughts today

really like my music today...english again. the montgolfier brothers: even if my mind can tell you. like the accent and voice of clifford t. ward on "nightingale", but it's a little mushy for me. more of a children's song. would be good on a lullaby and children's album.

i still haven't heard from cps, michelle erickson, regarding visitation with my son. i have been waiting and left more than one message with her so today i spoke with russ, the main director, because her supervisor was also out of office today.

really like the beginning of henry olonga's "my heart". like the african beginning--i like songs which mix this type of folk african singing. i don't what language or tribe or whatever it is though. i think this song is a little boring melodically, it's not different at all. he has a good voice but i would have preferred more of the african choir and chorus throughout the song, experimentally.

i feel bad, a little, for my fiance. we are fine and getting married, but i think the cultural stuff is working out gradually. i am spontaneous, but not as much as him. i actually think, for the first time, that i am more of a "judger" than a "perceiver" when it comes to the two of us. i got pissed last night when i didn't understand he wanted to finish the engagement invitations, when he picked me up. i thought he was saying he did it already, and i wasn't feeling good at all, and then we're pulling up to a house and i was like, "where are we? what are we doing?" and then he said we were finishing the invitations. i said he didn't give me any notice at all and didn't even ask me. i said "este no esta possible, necessito noticia! tu no preguntame me, y expect me, en un momento, tu do que tu quieres." everything, time specifically, is so fluid with him. one day he'll say he's going to sell the car the next day. i freak out and say WHAT? and then we have no CAR? porque tu no dice mi este! que nosotros uso? necessites por drive a el courthouse and recibes records medicales!" so then he's telling me, with a guilt trip, he'll do it all by himself. i said "i'll help pero i need notice". but i didn't feel good and he just did it, which was fine with me and then he said sorry and that was pretty good.

i like gavin thorpe's "out of place" and jacob golden's "out come the wolves" but they're pretty commonplace. like the soaring quality of thorpe's song though.

i went to the ER yesterday and was embarressed because by the time i got there, the flexeril took better hold and my stomach wasn't hard anymore. it had been HARD! the guy said it was from my intestine or colon in spasm and contraction and gave me something for it. i was like, "ummm. well, it was there and now it's not?" i was glad my fiance had at least felt it too, but it was gone. he did say i had an infection, small, so gave me something for the spasm problem and for the infection, and what was the other thing? i don't remember. i got 3 prescriptions.

i like tomi swick, canadian, and it's simple but a nice soaring song again: "a night like this". i like this one a lot--beyond: "sugar", and it's composed of artists from all around the world--china, hungary, and europe...i really like the idea of getting artists together from different backgrounds and parts of the world and mixing it up, with different sounds and even different languages. i am totally into experimental stuff.

i really like Gus Black's "Love is a Stranger". I like "I'll See You Again" by Tomi Swick and Jude Cole's "falling home". Gus Black's words on "Love is a Stranger" are really good.

Good songs, really liked: "Revenge Song" by Jacob Golden, and "The Next One" by The Chris McCarty Band. "So Tell Me" by Jason Vigil was simple but I liked the drive of the piano--sounded like one that would be fun to play, sort of piano as rhythm. Also like "God Bless the Broken Road" by Marcus Hummon