D & C and Hostile Doctor

It's almost 1 p.m. and I'm in prep for the D&C. I can take all the thoughts and prayers available to me.

My boyfriend is here and when he was in the room at first he said he was going downstairs. I asked why and he said to give blood. I didn't realize he was joking. I asked him what his blood type was and it's the same as mine. Not the rarest one but so-so rare. He said he could donate blood for me.

I have Dr. Henry doing this and I don't have a good feeling about it. She has been mean to me and criticized me since she came into my room. A different Dr. was going to do the D&C this morning, Dr. Thomas Martin, and I asked that it be done after the back doctor saw me because I've had many promises a doc would see me for my back, but no one has showed up, over the last 3 days.

So I was told I'd be given the D&C and then just discharged for home right after, with no one doing an MRI of my back and numb leg problems which have worsened and are the primary reason I can't work.

So I was told a doctor would see me if I scheduled for D&C later this afternoon, and I did, and it got turned over to this "Dr. Henri" or Henry, and from the beginning, she was condescending to me, critical, and short tempered.

I don't know what her problem is, but now SHE is going to be the one going in I'm a little concerned.

She was critical about and sort of yelled at me, accusing me about not having the D&C this morning and wouldn't accept my reasoning, and then critical about why I didn't have a OBGYN until I explained, and just every little thing was a reason for her to come at me offensively, like I did something wrong. I felt she was mocking me half of the time. When I asked simple questions, she couldn't give me a polite answer and would go off on me.

She promised me, too, that I would see a doctor about my back before this D&C. But no doctor has arrived. Then she was saying I would just be discharged after surgery because "they" were done with me after the D&C. I told her there were two different things going on and that I wanted to be sure both were taken care of. I was polite. Then she asked if I had any questions and I said yes, what are the risks and then I asked if she'd done a lot of these. She was short with me when I said I thought I was a little riskier and she said everyone had the same risks and said I didn't think this was true because I had problems in the past and was told I'd be high risk. So she was mocking me when I said my risks might be different.

Then I asked her politely, "Have you done a lot of these?" and she sneered at me and said, as if my question was stupid, "yes, I have. We ALL have to do a lot of these before graduating." I said, "I don't know why you're talking to me in this way--I think it's an important question, don't you?" She just looked at me. I really don't feel I deserve to be harassed for sincere questions and concerns.

The doctor from this morning, Dr. Martin, was fine and amiable, but I didn't like the fact he told me last night he would be available ALL night to fix my pain situation and yet he turned his phone off to staff, and there was no doctor who saw me about my back, AND then this morning, I was nice and he was pleasant enough as well, but he told me I was sensing his frustration because he felt I was being "manipulative" by not wanting the D&C done before seeing a doctor about my back. I told him, "You would do the same thing if it was you in my place." That stopped him and then he looked at me. He said he couldn't say. I said, "I don't think you understand what it's like to be unable to work" and he said, "I'm sure I don't." I know for a fact that this doctor would not want anyone to discharge HIM if he had more than one serious problem he'd gone to ER for. If he had a disc problem and legs getting numb and incontinence, this doctor would be FREAKING OUT. And if anyone doubts my ability to judge how bad my body issues are, my past track record of knowing something is "wrong" has been spot-perfect.

Manipulative isn't even close. How is it manipulative for me to ask to see a doctor about my back when I was being told, last minute, that I would just be sent home and that, according to the OBGYNS, any disc issue was an "out patient" matter? I don't think that's being manipulative at all, but being concerned about my health and knowing that there is something seriously wrong with my back which hasn't been attended to. Any doctor knows that worsening numbness and incontinence following back injury, with increased pain, is an emergency. If it is cauda equina it will only get worse. If an old injury was triggered, it will only get worse. I'm getting worse, not better, and I was admitted for the BACK AND the miscarriage problems, which none of these doctors wanted to say was a problem at all, because they were first claiming there were "no retained products".

I now have a slight fever, and the pain has only increased. The fever started yesterday or today. I first heard about it just now, and I haven't had any bleeding today although yesterday I had stuff in the toilet, and today I've had a couple of full-on contractions where I couldn't breathe for a moment because of the pain. My body is trying to get rid of this and it's been going on for 2 MONTHS and frankly,

WHY THE HELL BE MAD AT ME? when I'M THE ONE WHO HAS BEEN RIGHT, despite disagreement and contrary opinions. I said I thought the process wasn't completed, and it's not.

I am right, and just this morning, Dr. Martin was saying I had to have the D&C because there is a lot of material left and it would become infected and cause scarring if they didn't. There is a risk for problems if it's not done, just as there are risks associated with the actual D&C.

I was right about there being something wrong with my pregnancy to begin with. There were problems and an ectopic, and I was right. I was right that I was not completed with the miscarriage when PG discharged me and GW discovered this was true and they had to pull out stuff stuck inside and then gave me methotrexate. I was right when GW discharged me, claiming the process was completed when I knew it wasn't, when I was in so much pain and Salemy kept trying to minimize my problems. So then I went home and have had discharge, but not pain, until this last week. Over the last week, I got worse on the pain scale. And despite doctors saying there was nothing "left", I've had other radiologists and docs again confirm...I was right. There are retained products.

So I would think maybe someone would want to listen to me and take me seriously if I say I'm having severe back problems. Quite possibly, I'm RIGHT about there being a serious problem with this as well. I have learned to trust myself and what my body is telling me.

So this doctor, Dr. Henry, threw another fit a few minutes ago, because I asked for a blood test to double check HCG levels. The woman in prep said being pregnant, even newly pregnant, would affect a D&C and I asked the question, because this morning my breasts were fuller and heavier and I know it can be for only one of two reasons--premenstrual syndrome or early pregnancy. It doesn't make as much sense that it's PMS because I've had bleeding and PMS would be before not after bleedng, but I think it's is very slightly possible I'm pregnant again. There has always been protection, but it's still possible and if I had just conceived a week before going to ER, maybe HCG levels were too low to detect but if I'm having new pain and problems, maybe a new possibly ectopic is to blame. There is a new "cyst" on, in, or around my ovary, but that's probably not it. It could be why the stomach upset though. So I asked for a blood test prior to the D&C because while I don't want to be pregnant and there has not been one time I've gone without protection, if I AM, it could be affecting things, and would explain why I noticed this slight change in my breasts.

Dr. Henry freaked out, and wanted to speak to me over the phone and she went off, saying there was no way I could be pregnant. I asked why she was so sure, because if I got pregnant or conceived very recently, there would not be detectable HCG at first. Then she was yelling that if I had retained products it wasn't possible unless I'd just had sex while in the hospital. Which doesn't make any sense at all. If she's saying I could become pregnant at ALL, with retained products, it is possible I became pregnant before admission and levels were just not high enough. I don't THINK I am, but I figure it doesn't HURT to double check.

She was so pissed, and condescening again, I said if she felt this emotional about me and everything, maybe she shouldn't be the one doing the D&C. I don't want an angry woman taking out her issues on my body.

If anything, I feel doctors, in general, can sometimes be quite manipulative, trying to pressure patients to agree with them about everything, even if it doesn't make sense logically. Maybe then, to a doctor who is used to never being questioned, having a patient take precautions and ask questions, seems manipulative?

If I am pregnant, I would still have the D&C because it's necessary at this point, but it COULD inform as to what more of the problem may be, and why I had pain beginning recently. I mean, maybe a CT is warranted at that point, to rule out other stuff or find a better solution, or where the pregancy is located.

I don't feel tenderness or soreness in my breasts but they feel heavier for some reason and it's noticeable. Could be some kind of horomone shift. At any rate, the doctor told the prep person to go ahead and have my blood drawn and we'll find out what the results are.

I'm nervous about the D&C because she rattled off the list of risks as including bowel and bladder rupture, bleeding necessitating a full hysterectomy, blood transfusions, and other stuff. Also nervous because I've incompetent cervix and dilation will probably make this worse. I guess if I get pregnant in the future, I'll have to have the cervix sutured.

The results just came back. I was told earlier my levels were at total zero. Now, I'm told they're at 2.

2 is very low, but I just asked the nurse, if they were at 0 before, have they gone up? Then she just showed me the results before and they were non-specific. The levels only showed "less than 5" and that was it. No definite number. Now there is a definite number, but it's low.

I'm trying to figure out how far along someone has to be to have detectable levels of HCG.

If it's 2 now and it was 3 a couple of weeks ago at GW, it hasn't gone down that much. I am sort of thinking I may have a new early pregnancy before the HCG levels are up enough.

I talked to Dr. Henry and she said HCG would be up higher than "2" , ONE DAY after conception and would show on a blood test. I don't remember ever hearing that before, that it was detectable by simple blood test so early on.

She went off on me again, saying do I want to go ahead because if not, she was delivering a baby and she talked about being pressed for time. I hope other people will be there to witness everything because for whatever reason, this doctor has a problem with me.