Friday, February 20, 2009

Msg. about Death of Baby from Forced Natural Birth

I met someone tonight, another medical person, who told me she'd come in to see me because I wasn't sleeping and because the others had told her I was sad and crying a lot.

I think I cried mainly on the first day here, but it wasn't just about my miscarriage, it was about other things too. i was emotional though, yes, and moody, and i admit i went too far in my creative license for telling a tall tale with regard to a "mystery" i began to weave and spin for fun. I will probably never explain myself further than that, but at anhy time, I may choose to explain in the future.

So this nurse comes in and tells me to move forward and look ahead because she has lost a baby too. It was 5 days old. I didn't mean to pry because she wasn't forthcoming with the information, but I did go ahead and ask more and said if she didn't mind telling me, how did it happen? she just said it was the hospital's fault and they did something wrong. she still wasn't telling me and then I asked how were they wrong, what did they do? and she said they forced her to have a vaginal delivery when she should have had, and was supposed to have, a C-section.

They forced it and she has a uterine prolapse with a hole 5 cm wide. We didn't go into why her son died and what happened to him but she and I exchanged numbers and we're going to talk. She has been in court over this for 9 years and she thinks the judge is familiar with the opposing party because why allow it to drag on so long before she can get to the jury? She said the other side keeps coming up with more and more excuses.

She said she had unimaginable pain and that no one believed her for the longest time.

When it was finally discovered, they told her she'd never have children again, but she said there are miracles and she had a baby after they told her never again.

She said she prays and reads her Bible, and that God has helped her through this. It was interesting to meet someone with a story like mine, for sure.

Now I'M sort of wondering, if I also have a "hole" in my uterus and that's why all the uterine problems were causing stomach problems? I had the feeling when I was first pregnant with my twins, after the first month especially I noticed. Rumbling all the time, total gas and movement 24-7 and horrible distension that made me look far more pregnant than I was. It went away after miscarriage, for the MOST part, but then it really got bad in the last week or so and I had more bleeding too.

Since I've had the D&C I haven't hardly bled at ALL. I think she did a decent job. There is zero bleeding practically, but a lot of stuff came out, I hear, when it was done.

But if the uterine problems caused serious gastrointestinal problems, why would this be UNLESS there WAS a "leak" of some kind in my uterus?

I wonder now, because I've never had an evaluation since my traumatic experience in Wenatchee. I haven't had an objective look or MRI of the area and everything. I wonder what my damages really are, because i wouldn't have known how it would affect my next pregnancy, that's for sure.

I hope every single thing comes to light.

For my sake, and for the sake of my son and his rehabilitiation as well.

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