Thoughts & Dreams Today

Watching a really interesting lecture by the National Geographic Society, Washington D.C. It's Alexandra Avakian, author/photographer of "Windows of the Soul". On Book TV (C-Span2).

She went to Iran and met people in the country, learned the culture, and then got into a Hezbollah camp and documented their lifestyle.

I don't know if Israel and Iran are enemies? I'm not sure which country Israel considers to be the biggest threat and which country thinks Israel is their biggest threat, other than Palestine? or, I forget the other name which I know most Israeli's prefer to Palestine...

It would be so amazing to see some kind of agreement for peace and provisions for everyone over there, so they are all able to live their lives and have their children without fear.

I think Iran is an interesting country, and all of the people I've met from Iran have been lovely. My doctor ended up being pretty nice, Dr. Davori, as well as handsome! Not bad on the eyes. In general though, people from Iran have been very welcoming and hospitable to me. The Iranian food is amazing. It's such a surprise, and Pakistani food too. I like spicy or seasoned foods, and their culinary skills are an art. Very aromatic as well.

Today I woke up in a lot of pain. My pain levels are pretty bad and I have a slight headache and I'm not sure if this is from the Lyrica or not. I guess it takes a while for Lyrica to work and I tried it but I think it's expensive. I'd keep giving it a trial though, just to see if it does help with pain, but it doesn't do anything for me now. I don't notice the numbness in my leg as much, but my back pain is very bad. It's more musculo-skeletal, I think and honestly, Diauldid is the only thing that really helped both my stomach and back pain. It would be good if I could have tablets of Diauldid for home use.

I watched the movie "No Country for Old Men". I had no idea what it was about and it was the first time I had any idea. It reminded me of a poem I wrote, and when the guy in the truck, dying, kept asking for "agua" I thought about the woman down the hall clamoring for "ice water" over and over. This movie was great--I liked it a lot and was reminded me of a particular friend, the guy Lewellen, so much like a certain friend. Overall, with the sheriff at the end, who wants to resign, where he says he feels "overmatched", made me think about the chief police officer or whatever, who received death threats in Texas, I think El Paso, and stepped down to prevent deaths of other officers and himself. He felt overmatched. The intimidation campaign was out of control, and the guy who goes around killing people--there are a lot of people like that in the drug war scene.

I talked to someone here in the hospital about the drug wars and she said people are too afraid to do anything about it because you know a lot of Americans are involved in this industry too, and they get protection from higher end people who are in law enforcement, government, and law. You know that while a lot of violence is coming from Mexican gangs, white collared criminals are the ones who are creating the pipeline.

Last night I had a couple of short dreams. It was right before I woke--I was half awake and dozing. I asked for someone to give me an apple, and this guy threw an apple torwards me and it bounced on the table in front of me. Then, he rolled an apple torwards me, like he was bowling. After that, I had a dream that this blond haired guy from Denmark had just become a diplomat and he approached me and wanted to marry me and take me around the world and when he held my hand to get past a crowd, I was letting go but he held on and then I was looking at his profile and at his teeth and thinking he'd had good dental care in his lifetime and then I woke up. He was older than me. At first he was well groomed and then he morphed into this guy with a big position and a bad haircut.

"Love for Sale" by Ella Fitzgerald comes to mind.

I am discharged today with some prescriptions. I'm done with my antibiotics routine and I feel it's very appropriate that I go home now. They've done a really good job here. I'm not bleeding now either, and only had some bleeding yesterday. My pain is pretty bad especially at night and in the morning, but I am trying to get by. The D&C was done by suction, and I didn't know they do it this way sometimes. I thought they went in with an instrument and did some scraping, but they did suction

I sort of don't know if I should take Lyrica if I'm being evaluated by another Dr. for seizure predisposition. I might get the prescription and then ask the doctor who is evaluating the epilepsy stuff.

This week I have to get all my medical records and documentation and file stuff with the court about the false restraining order, explaining my medical problems as preventing me from filing things and getting things done, and not having access to my records from GW. I think I have a specialist over here who will obtain all records from all the different hospitals and make it easy for me to obtain and take home.

I wish I had a good car. Any car is fine, but I would like a solid, heavy metal car. I'm fine with the Metro and subways when they're easy but where I live now and with all the things I have to do, having a car would be better. Have to have one in Wenatchee too.

I want to work on my ability to pick things up too, about other people, from objects or their hands, or dreams or images. I think if I get anything right, it's just a gift from God. I don't do astrological stuff, I just pray to God sometimes, to show me something and other times I'm not praying at all but I get an impression without trying or expecting it.

Today I keep seeing this guy, and it's not an image, but a memory which keeps coming to mind for some reason and there is something about this guy. I saw him at the Post Pub and he came in with a young group of mainly 20s somethings. He sat at the head of the table, facing the bar, in the corner next to the windows, and he had a button up shirt on and medium to dark brown short hair, was white, and a little smaller in frame and he kept looking at me, following me with his eyes and I could tell something was on his mind. He was totally checking me out (not in a romantic sense) and I felt he had some information he could share. I don't know why he knew who I was, but he was watching me. For some reason, his face keeps coming to mind and I don't know why today, 3 months later. If I remember correctly, he sort of had irish eyes but I can't be sure. But I wonder what he is thinking about today and what was on his mind then.