images

ball & chain

this morning mi novia went to the dmv
"i'll be back in a couple of hours"
he had to help a friend with papers
i'm going to a different dmv
for a license when i don't even know
how to drive this kind of car
este carro de matrimonio
we're taking numbers and standing at the counter
like people taking out coins
rubbing out their scratch-off tickets
is it for the novia del embassy colombia
the cia, el hijos en el mundo todo, or por
mi vida? no se
i am in love. at least 50% of the time
people must be in love
when they get married...in love, in love with?
i guess i just don't want to lose out
on the parties in colombia
i still think i should be paid more to party
because there are no parties in wenatchee
shit.
the golden goose has laid her egg
wrapped it around my neck
i will be pulling both ends
finding a way to make a down comforter
shit.
laid an egg. a fucking egg comes rolling up
like a chocolate easter egg wrapped in shiny gold foil
i guess it doesn't have to be solid gold
if there's chocolate underneath it all
i will be eating chocolate
with the back of my hand
to my mouth
smiling with chocolate teeth, big grin
for the camera's FLASH
i see a candy tree con chocolates
dancing in a white dress
over marble floors
riding a horse across the kitchen tiles
breaking ceramics
seven years ago i was painting tiles
of a girl with her back against a tree
green and black
shadows still, and thinking of the asian
girl from "kill bill"
with her silver ball & chain and
what she used it for
HIIIIIiiiiiii-YAHHHH
mi novio, to be mi esposo medicame
"you're safe now, but once we're married..."
and laughed about poisoning my food
so much laughter and yet we both stared
into eachother's eyes
as we drew pretend guns on eachother
we were going to rent a movie and he asked
what did i want to watch?
"la femme nikita" i said
and he laughed
he knows no english but knows
shakespeare, nikita, and how to go
through my things thoroughly
i'm sleeping next door & see
him going through the purse i left
in the bathroom
jump up to pretend i'm drawing a bath
after i go through all of his belongings
tu eres en el militaria i said
when he lied
why lie about that?
but i must be missing him when i feel
alone en la noche
el telefono cellular is turned off
again
i saw how she looked at him
when she came over to meet me, she
looked at my boots, over his legs
i said to him, "she's your girlfriend?"
i knew, like diana knew camilla
he smiled and looked surprised
the agents of the world are not listening
to me without reason...i know my intuitive shit.
shit.
dropped golden egg number 2.
two eggs, 2 golden eggs and balls around my neck
just KIDDING everybody!
we're in love
"whatever that means" he said
i am NOT eating the chinese take out he brings
home for me after we're married
no way jose
gun in each hand going off
it was fun when i was just a hot dog
sinking into the middle of the deflating air mattress
damame some lapizes! i said, "este finis!"
and made stabbing motions at the mattress i was
trapped in
but why the hell did he think of dracula in a coffin
instead of a fucking hot dog?
somehow i am looking forward to matrimonio
con el mundo colombia.
he understands more english than he claims
because he laughs when i am witty
can't help himself
what if
what if he falls
he may not be immune to my disease
it's catching
it's caught others off-guard
pero i am so imaginative
we will divorce at his initiation i am loco
loco lady
i don't know why pero someone is so in love
with me...i feel it...i cannot see the face fully
i feel love
therefore, i am in love

he is a professional
an architect
he's not a lefty
i began to wonder if this was not a sign
i am beginning to use my left hand
working on ambidexterity
noting how some children will use a utensil
with the right hand at a birthday party
but go on to sign as a teenager with the left
i will have to use both de mis manos cuando
i become the strangler

si possible por mi practicar mi espanol con el
si possible por el practicar ingles con mi
este bueno por todos
por el mundo, por los ninos, por mi bebe
por cara cara lina del amor

i am in love, i am so in love, i am in love
te amo ti, te amo el, te amo con mucho amor
we will live in a shack cuando el professional
is picking frutas para los arboles
a la musica ranchero para los cambions
por Colombia! arribes mis muchachas.
arribes!
CONE-feee-DENCE!

mi corazon esta bueno. el medicime,
"mi amigo medicime, 'ella esta pocito loco en la cabeza
pero muy bueno en el corazon'."
we both laughed.
"en este momento, yo pense tu tienes a corazon bueno"
el medicime.

mi corazon por el mundo
por alleman, por americanos latinos, por russ, por
estado unidos, por japon y mongolia, por ingles,
por israel, por syria, por pakistan...
mi corazon con sangre
por mexico
por mis mexicanos mortes y con mexicanos vives
for the day of the dead
por ti,
mis manos matrimonio
por uno hombre con familia y amor

"tengo muchas problemos con catolicos
and then i marry one" i said to him
he laughed, and i wondered at this form
of therapy for ptsd
quiero mas dinero por favor.

he wanted to marry on friday the 13th.
it was very important to him
pero porque i needed mas tiempo penser
we pushed the date back a week

friday the 13th.

i am in love and he is in love.
so strange, that we are marrying for love
so strange, we are both marrying
for love

my lover's face in the shadows behind the face
of my son
eclipse
a ring and a moon lasoed by the sun
a golden ball
my beloved chain
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i set a mark
a high mark
i shot an arrow high into the air
a fleet of arrows in return
but i set my mark
drew my nails down the chalkboard
smiling
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bread of water, water of wine
walking on the water, clementine,
clemency in time
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not an image, but about the music...love the smith's "half a person"...such good music. i've heard a lot of different good songs today. i didn't realize how many good songs were made in the 80s. seriously. i really like all the english stuff i've never heard in the u.s. really like nick kamen and "i promised myself". ABC's many happy returns is good too. and world shut your mouth (very nice) and dire straights expresso coffee. lot of good songs and this one about "more than a feeling".
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it seems to