images and ESP?

i noticed the:
type of gum
white mums
pattern on my shirt
handwriting in the dirt
energy pen
song sending
the past into into my future
no, that was not my future
i read the back of the shirts
i don't fit the scene
i'm trying to put on weight
for my next role
but i cannot eat a thing
it seems, but i am trying
to become fat and i envison
marshmallows and teenage girls
asking me which high school
i'm from
i think all of these lies
shapeshifting are teaching me some things
how to be
how to see what i see
a scar on the back of the head
isn't a scar?
since when does a man get a blow
to the back of his head and not
remember?
is this like not remembering the military?
a queer form of amnesia
it didn't happen as a teen
"it happened when you were 20-something"
nothing more to say
i know this kind of scar and have it on
my own head,
which makes me wonder if either one of us
is right in the head
wistful dreaming
into temptation seducing me
as only a lover's anthem could
grounding the wheels
spinning in your
immaculate head
"tu eres a victim de tortura?"
yes, he says, "tu"
dancing across the mestiza
patio, holding the hand back
of the rude
arrogant petty prince
be nice to the waitress
or i'm outta here
*********************************

polygamy por mujeres
full marriage to our kings
queen ant, queen bee
all for one
one of me!
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sapphire and emerald butterfly pin
falls to the bath for a swim
at the bottom of the louvre
at the bottom of the swains-sooth boudoir
sliding across the ceramic
sparkling in the light
finding a hidden clasp
picking apart the prick
spinning the shape into a round
turquoise bulls-eye
lost and found
lifting off like a space shuttle
to light
the eyes of the butterfly
and storming through the dark quarters
a jedi insect tearing through the
wardrobe and the corridors
dodge and dart
kill the hart before she tears
into you like a metal pill
coursing through your veins
a lump in your throat
a coat hanger in the closet
**********************************

she sits on the branches
swinging her legs
singing sweet marias
tiajuana brigades too busy
to catch her when she is
slipping and needs strong hands
to bring her down
*********************

i am not inspired at all to write images but just stressed out and writing for the sake the writing and nothing else. i don't think my images are very clear today and my writing sucks, but oh well.
*********************************

so weird, this is not an image, but this woman walked into the cafe, and there are tons of people here and I picked her out and asked if she was from washington state. She looked stunned and said how did I know this. I didn't know and don't know how i knew this. I think i just guessed. she said her name was cindy and she worked in a hospital (respiratory therapist) in bremerton for 14 years but they've been in d.c. for a year or so. her husband was in an episcopal church service or something. at any rate, she kept asking me how i had known she was from washington state and I said she just looked familiar somehow. I have no idea why i thought she was from washington but i somehow knew or guessed right. i could have known her from anywhere, but i thought washington state. so she kept asking me over and over how i knew this.

beats me.
i am not a frickin' spy, i just have lucky guesses sometimes i think, and see some things sometimes or get an idea that's right somehow.

i am getting ready to look for a fucking ring for my engagement. with my boyfriend and his friend, mi amigo. i'm getting nervous and freaked out. but i'm going. i will not allow him to buy a ring unless i'm sure. so this is it. i think.

i think i just want a plain band or a huge fucking zirconium. i told him i don't care. he wants to buy a real one and i was like, "let's just get something from the gumball machine or a zirconium, no one will ever know and who cares."

i just don't want anything that is going to be snagging my nylons or getting lost at great expense.

i'm also goign to a specialist this next week, because i'm having increasing pain with my stomach and my back. it's really bad and getting worse, not better. I wake up with pain and have to take advil, tons of it, and other stuff and it doesn't last long. i stupidly tried dancing that one night at the colombian party, and ever since, the numbness in my left leg started up again and my back and stomach are killing me. i have to get everything checked out because i may need a surgery for the pregnancy stuff if there are still unresolved horomones because it would mean there's either placental residual or still ectopic issues. i would guess ectopic but don't know.

i like this song, "london calling" and lots of other ones today too.
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i wish i knew for sure that i am right about what i picked up on the other day. it seems too crazy and very romantic if true, but i don't know for sure. i feel like i have a part of it but not the whole thing, or i'm just in disbelief. i need another look. i need another meeting.