this morning (bible, hitchens,michelle obama?, and queen)

I had migraine this morning (from yesterday) and slept in a little. Had a lot of distinct dreams but don't remember any of them.

Thought about how I have to amend my amendment bc I didn't do it right. It's okay, but I sent it as a kind of attachment and not an actual amended complaint. It SHOULD suffice, especially because Judges are expected to judge "leniently" and with every possible accomodation for pro se persons. They are not to be judged by the same mete as a lawyer, and my main complaint was to ask for a lawyer.

I thought about water this morning. Last night I fell asleep to some program on t.v. where they were teaching how to make water safe, a U.S. and British person.

I also went back to the Bible to find out which passages it was exactly that I read yesterday and it was II Kings 2-4 and Matthew 17. The first one talks about Elisha and then the second one also refers to Elisha throughout. It is actually a nice combination, or was, to randomly turn to. The first is about water and oil and faith and the second is about "with faith like a mustard seed, you can move mountains."

It sounds odd, but I then recalled how I had added a little mustard powder to the minestrone soup I made and how the clouds, which I had refered to as "mountains" moved over as I had wanted (I didn't pray for it, but just noticed and thought about this verse: with faith like a mustard seed, you can move mountains).

I also read about the water again, and it follows the part about Elija being taken up in a chariot with horses and the next thing is this water passage. Which was weird to open to, when I had a full glass of water sitting on the counter which I had added salt to. I read the passage, and looked back at the water, and just thought.

The other interesting thing to me, was that in reading this I thought about the symbolism of the tarot card with the cup and the W (or M) and how water is spilling out from it and I have thought maybe water to wine but also then thought about this verse, how it is first a vase or cup or vessel that is filled with water and then a little salt, and then poured into the water that was bad in the land. I also thought about the water to wine and the "legend of the grail" of course. I thought about the staff of elijah and moses and how maybe that's where tarot gets the idea of "wands".

So lots of thinking about things. How I salted a bar one night, among other things. (a toss over my shoulder here and a toss over there).

anyway, I haven't read some of the smaller, little stories from the Old Testament for a long time.
I wonder what pepper is supposed to be about, what legends there are with pepper, if any? I know it has a lot of hidden properties I had never thought about before. I like all the spices and feel they are unrated, in purer forms, for their attributes.

I thought about a lot of things actually.

I was just thinking, about mustard, maybe that's where they get the phrase, "I had to muster up some courage..." and if this is a reference to the mustard seed of faith.

I have thought about Hitchens and for some reason, I think he might be healed or recover but I don't think this will convince him of a God. He could have someone touch him and say to him, "Mr. Hitchens, go talk to your doctor, because you have been healed in the name of God (or Jesus Christ)" and he could go to the doctor and have it confirmed and still not believe. When people have their minds made up about something, they will find any kind of other explanation for why their beliefs align with reality.

It's like Pharoah. One miracle wasn't enough. It took a ton of miracles, one after the other after the other, and then finally Pharoah said, "alright, alright, get out of here" and freed them. Not that Hitchens is Pharoah, but that is human nature. We settle on our beliefs and some are more moveable than others. If people are praying, they should just know that the prayers will be felt, if they are sincerely prayed. It doesn't mean a miracle, but people pick up on positive energy and can be affected by it.

I don't know what his whole combination of health issues is, but read today it's maybe to lymph nodes and lung. I don't know why I thought to cut something out, but I do think sometimes, chemo isn't enough. If one organ is infected enough couldn't it just churn out more of the same and make it hard for the rest of the body to recoup? Or maybe there is a part somewhere, like a section of something.

It's too bad that most people, who even have insurance, don't have insurance that covers all kinds of homeopathic remedies because the right foods, no matter how exotic, sometimes are as effective as expensive medications, or moreso.

Cinnamon bark came to mind now and I looked it up out of curiosity. I haven't compared it to cancer stuff, but it's mainly for blood circulation and indigestion or stomach problems...also good for diabetics. Okay, there's a lot of research by even U.S. scientists, about the use of cinnamon bark in actually preventing the generation of more cancer cells. A lot of the herbs and spices I know are good for prevention so I would safely assume they should be incorporation to prevent the spread, but this one is directly linked to possible cancer curative properties. All I did was go to google and type, "cinnamon bark, cancer" and a lot of articles came up. Aloe came to mind so then I thought I should just type in best cancer cures, homeopathic and it came up on the top list, and there are other things out there. Just looked up aloe vera, cancer and tons of stuff about that one as a cure.

Anyway.

I had something come to mind about Hitchen's feet but I don't know what. I typed in his kind of cancer and then "feet" but I don't know. Maybe nothing.

I got "feet" and then typed in a search of this kind of cancer and feet and there are some things which could be related, but I don't know what or in what regard.
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I said I'd check on the towel to see what the design was and when I did, this morning, I found out it was NOT roses, so this means that I DID see the pattern I was getting, as being roses. I probably saw Michelle Obama's dress for church somehow. Maybe some other woman, can't rule it out, but it's sort of interesting. I had to look at that towel to remember bc it was that one thing cancelled the other. But yeah, I got those colors that I wrote down, in a pattern, and of flowers, and when I saw the bath towel, I knew it was not some weird idea I was picking up from the towel, because the towel was in daisies and I had gotten roses.
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I looked at the news of Elizabeth's portrait and it reminded me of an impression I got which I forgot to write down, of her in a study or library, selecting a book. I got it a few days ago, and I meant to document but forgot. I think within the last week or two but that is so vague and I can't think now which day or time. But I thought about how I never really imagined there was a library or study before and yet of course there must be and I thought I saw her from the waist up, with one hand in a position at about her head. She was standing, and had a hand as high as her head, so it was a book or books higher up. But the portrait made me think of a cozy and warm study, with those colors, and it reminded me of this. I don't know that this yellow room is the room because it's not called a study or library, but it reminded me of what I had seen. The only thing that somehow doesn't make sense to me, so maybe I was wrong, was that I thought it was her right hand that was selecting the book, not her left, and she is left-handed if I'm correct. I saw it from the back, like I was behind her. And actually, like I was maybe someone taller than her? For some reason though, I almost want to say she had dark hair but maybe it was white, I can't remember. If it was dark, it had to be maybe a video clip or from the past but it was as if there. Could have been white hair. I don't remember now. I know for sure it was the Queen though.
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I don't know why, but looking at the photos from british site today, of william with camilla (just looked at first one, didn't click on link) and they're smiling, I started to laugh. I have no idea why. I just started giggling and why, I couldn't say. There is nothing funny about it and it's a really good photo but I started laughing, not at them, but almost, I have no idea. I guess I sense the mirth of the moment and couldn't help it.
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last night, after getting this email from a guy named josh and joking about a restaurant in town, I haven't been there but I had "the royal fork" come to mind. I went home and stared at the fork I had been eating my baked potato with. Hmm. then I thought, "le royal forke". I then typed it into a search today and there IS a restaurant in this area called "the royal fork". So I typed it in and up came these forks, and the restaurant name, and then a description of the meaning of "fork" in chess. le forke royale. le goose royale. le goose de le egg dore. le pesce dore. I wonder if that's how they got the name for "dory" for the fish in Nimo.

Looked up royal fork in chess and forks.

This is how I get my insights. One thing leads to another. The little "play" by Michelle Erickson and CPS, a "fork" in the truest sense of the word. Hoping that one thing will immediately affect the outcome of other things. I believe I have been "forked" one too many times. I think I might know the difference between a royal fork and an American one too.

Well, I think I have all the training I need now, to become Great Superpower Of The Universe. I want WonderWoman underwear. I like Cat Woman though...

I have known what has been done to me, but never had the right words until le forke royale. I learn something everyday. Looked up fork on wiki, with regard to chess. I have been forked so many times in this state and elsewhere, that if I were a sprinkler (I thought I had the right one but I think I was wrong)...I would be the round one that has all of the little holes in it where the water sprays out.
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Anyway, I looked up miracle stories of people with esophageal cancer and it's not impossible to be cured. One woman had 4th stage and was cured. In Maryland and they thought about it as a miracle bc she prayed to a saint--she was also going through chemo at John Hopkins and who knows what she was eating. I would like to find out.

Looked up feet but have no idea about what to do with feet. Then looked up lung cancer from esophogeal and article from Harvard describes what came to my mind: "paraneoplastic phenomenon", which is where an infected organ begins to secrete chemicals or things and churns out stuff that enters the bloodstream and makes it more difficult to contain. This is exactly what came to mind but didn't know there is a term for it.

some kind of mystery about calcium bc it says a symptom of cancer is elevated calcium levels but then I read, briefly, contrasting ideas about calcium blockers and then calcium powder. probably a lorenzo's oil dilemna in there somewhere.

found some good info on a site called "Cancer Compass" and it has testimonies of people who had stage 4 cancer and their health and eating improved drastically by a change in diet and with some added things and they know of people who have been cured, at this stage too.

I forgot that kale was also on my list when I made the list the other day but it's a little more preventative, however, it stimulates oxygenation.

there is also research on tumeric in texas. I think diet is super important.

I was wondering about tylosis. I see there are other things that affect feet with the actual chemo but curious about tylosis and if it not just a "marker" but contains cancerous cells in a biopsy of the skin from this.
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something is going better. i feel this weird sense of something going from harassment to excitement. ? i don't know why. maybe something good around the corner sometime i hope.

maybe someone found something on their scan that looks like something can be done or maybe is better. i don't know. I do feel pretty optimistic about Hitchens. I haven't even prayed for him, but I sense something is going to be okay for him. It would be wrong to say this and be wrong, but I feel like he has a chance of being cured. I guess I'll say my prayer. had an impression of sand going inbetween fingers but not from an hourglass. Hmm, what time is it? I guess it might be my son, who has a sandbox. I don't know. It's 5:17 p.m. at this moment. I wrote the next things that follow before this time and then backtracked to this spot. but had some idea of someone taking a handful of sand and the sand filtering out inbetween fingers. Not pure white sand or brown sand, more like light to med. tan. Sort of standard color, not with color. Not wet or damp but very dry. I prayed. I didn't feel a really good connection but I was just being fried with technology and writing about torture so things seemed kind of flat. I know when I've thought about it though, I have felt optimistic about it for some reason. And then after I was praying (short one, a few minutes), the main thing that came to mind was oxygen. I prayed for a combination treatment to work and be effective and then after I was done, a quick idea came to mind relating to some kind of oxygen machine. Which made me think a big thing that is necessary is getting the necessary oxygenation to fight the cells, and support the fact that if lungs are affected, already being afflicted with sleep apnea doesn't help, and that hyberbaric oxygen chamber if it can be afforded and maybe intensive oxygen therapy otherwise as well. Maybe almost all the time or as much as possible every single day, for a big thrust to shock and clean the body and lungs and stuff. If insurance covers it and you can read in there, or listen to something and not be bored, the hyperbaric thing if it can be afforded and doesn't drive someone nuts.

Then I just had something come to mind, just now, about "toxemia". So I looked up toxemia in connection cancer and I haven't really read yet, but saw some reference to how toxemia can result from the breakdown of a tumor. Don't know what that means. maybe that if the chemo is working, the simple destruction process is something to be careful about bc of potential toxemia? I don't know...will read a minute. It says a toxemia (sepsis) resulting from the break-down of a tumor is called a secondary toxemia. So hopefully, and I'm sure, everyone is looking out for that.

I guess what I mainly found was how toxemia can result from break down of tumor or also from all the chemicals used in chemo. then, it says, according to some research, that after a treatment, the bad bacteria comes back stronger because the system is a little immuno-compromised. So probaby the best thing is having a very strong diet and oxygen and almost stepping it up rather than relaxing after chemo. the ph balance stuff is probably really important then. I wonder how someone would discover a hidden toxemia? or how does one know if toxemia is present or not if it doesn't always manifest right away with symptoms?

got "aerogation" but not really irrigation as much as aerogate or aerogation and it's a fan. I don't know what else. Oh, just read aerodigestive tract is a word associated with the body so maybe aerogation is for oxygenation.

For some reason, while I support use of marijuana in cancer, for appetite, was thinking it's probably not good for this kind of cancer. Thinking of smoking variety esp., but maybe it's not good for this one at all.

I guess that's all I know. I don't think having a drink now and then hurts. I think smoking hurts, and should be replaced by black licorice, but I don't think having a drink would hurt now and then, esp. if you're used to drinking. If everything else is stepping up in a strong foundation, a little alcohol could be used in a good way, if it mediates other things. Probably black pepper is actually good too, because I just read one contributing factor can be soil deficiencies (for produce grown in the soil) of zinc, manganese, and other things.

This also sounds strange, but humidity came to mind for some reason, and I don't know if it's good or bad for this kind of cancer. It seems odd, but sometimes small things like even climate can make a difference in some ailments, but I don't know how. So I'm looking up humidity.

Weird. I just found something about humidity, and the correlation between dry areas and "the esophageal cancer belt", from a study done by an Iranian scientist. The article examines the highest incidence of this cancer in the world (I think) and how lack of humidity may be a problem or contributing factor: http://jnci.oxfordjournals.org/content/93/2/86.full. It is called "New Chapter Opens in Iranian Research Story" by Bob Kuska. The actual citation is: JNCI J Natl Cancer Inst (2001) 93(2):86-88, doi: 10.1093/jnci/93.2.86. It then goes on to say they think it pointed to a genetic component but I am still wondering, if oxygenation is important to cancer prevention, and this kind of cancer involves the throat and nasal cavities or lungs and other areas, if humidy vs dry air has something to do with things. I know they detected a gene expression that they think is the gene for this kind of cancer, but I wonder if they've then done studies on this population again to see if it's really genetics in that area or if it's something else that contributes to incident rate.

I just looked at lowest and highest cancer rates in the world and I'm sure a lot of factors contribute but the highest rates are found in dry climates and the lowest rates are found in tropical or humid climates. US average was like 300 per 100,000 with 493 per 100,000 in Tasmania, Australia (think dust devil) and then a low of 59 per 100,000 in Gambia. Most of the results show lower rates in more humid areas. Who knows.
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i guess i will admit i sort of thought, it vaguely crossed my mind, that camilla wore lavendar yesterday. just vaguely and i didn't ask for it so didn't want to guess at all. maybe that's part of the reason i felt like giggling, i don't know. i almost wore that same color today and then decided not to because i started feeling it was maybe expected i would. i have no idea why i laughed too, when i saw this photo...it was like being in on it but not really bc i have no idea what they were laughing about. it was one of the best photos i've seen of camilla. i probably laughed too, bc then i thought about her as the "plant moderator" and hammering at eggs.
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also, i was thinking, that the impression of the queen, was with her hand above her head. the book was above her head. I was thinking at least about the head but maybe at some point, above her head and I saw the movement of her hand skim over a couple of volumes. like, she touched more than one of the book spines. her fingers were light. i sure hope i'm not recalling something from the movie "the queen" with helen mirren bc that would be horrible. haha. but I think it was really the Queen.
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also read something about charles spencer. i hardly ever look him up but something seems very right about his direction now.