Saturday, September 18, 2010

hallelujah i feel depressed

It's about 9:30 and I feel so depressed...the sad vibe.

I walked in on leonard cohen's "Hallelujah" sung by Sarah McLaughlin. I could hear it from the sidewalk as I was walking up and then down the porch and through the door and it's Hallelujah. I said out loud, "Of all things" in a flat tone.

I had just called in a complaint about someone at a bookstore downloading all this virus malware intentionally and I knew someone there did it because other clerks knew and it was obvious. So then I was walking back and I heard what sounded exactly like my son screaming for me and I knew it was either my son or an audio recording of my son screaming that was played to harass me intentionally. I know my son's voice and screams.

So then I walked all the way to where a cousin works to have someone call her on a cell and see how he was doing and then I went all the way back to the bookstore to get a book on deleting the malware and viruses.

So I was sitting there, learning how to go into "safe start" and start hacking the thing. Not really hacking, just fixing. Then I wrote down what I had to write down and left and ended up walking in to Hallelujah, the second of 3 verses. I think it was on the first one when I was walking up.

Then it was David Garrett and I almost cried with the Winter version for Vivaldi.

I just feel down. I guess partly because even the local harassment is out of control and then I think a lot of the incentive is sometimes coming from out of area (not all but some).

Might be picking up on someone else's emotions too.

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