Saturday, March 2, 2013

German Homeschoolers, Chavez, and Middle East (& misc)

I liked this one show that I saw about German homeschoolers who are in the U.S. to ask for political asylum from Germany.  I thought the photo of the family was a nice one, and I am sort of surprised they don't allow homeschooling over there.  Even more surprising is that the U.S. would turn them down, but then again, it seems like the Department of Justice thinks nothing is a human rights violation--not even torture of my family.
On a separate note, I've had a very bad feeling off and on, all week up until today.  I knew something was wrong with my family or brother or maybe something bad was going to happen for some group I might care about.
I also hope Chavez will be okay.
I had an impression of a man sick several days ago.  He was leaning forward and hot and sweating.  He seemed to be super sick but I thought it was maybe an attack of some kind, if not shock.  He was sweating rapidly, like when you suddenly get super hot and your skin just sweats and sweats, and he sort of looked like the blond man I think I've seen in the past but maybe he was a different one.  Similiar perhaps.  I saw him as if I was looking at him and he just bent forward, slightly to my left, and I didn't see anything gross, just sweating and maybe dizziness or sick and not able to breathe easily.  Sort of like someone about to pass out.  It was very quick and either over the weekend or beginning of this week.  I had just made an ad-post online for something.
I also know for a fact someone (probably more than one but I just saw one man) monitors my computer stuff.  He saw what I wrote or where I was going online, and then he sort of wanted someone or others to snap to it and make a call or something, or get something.  That one had brown hair, medium I guess, and white man.  Then right after I "saw" him tell someone to do something and I thought it was to make a call, my phone rang.  It wasn't who I thought though.  It was my Grandma Rosella.  However, I saw some kind of white man, maybe mid-30s to 50s, telling some people to do something right before she called.  He sort of reminded me of something from a cop movie but there were no uniforms.  He was sitting in front of a computer screen and then snapped someone to attention and there was more than one person in the room.  He sort of looked like this man who fingerprinted and handprinted me in Knoxville, TN at the federal detention center where they used me for research.  I wrote something, he was looking at something on the computer and then wanted to get someone on it.  Then I heard Rosella gasping for air and make a noise at the same time that the U.S. used technology that affected my heart.  The U.S. also did this to me and my Dad, earlier that day or the day before, at the same time as we sat in our livingroom over here, at their house, and watched t.v.  A commercial for Cialis was on and every time "heart" was mentioned, or "heart attack" was mentioned, I was tortured to my heart and my Dad said nothing but I could see his chest moving and they did the same thing to him at the same time.  I said out loud, "I love how they coordinate everything."

Ideas to put to poem later
I think sometimes I might picture a voice like Shep (the reporter from Fox news) and other times it is slightly deeper or more mellow or something.  Serious:

"That's why you're still alive"  (several nights ago)
Today, "Marilyn Monroe"
I had an odd dream last night.  The only part that made it odd was I heard my Mom screaming for me.

I wondered if someone had snuck into their house late last night, when most people were asleep.  The dog didn't even act normal today.

I'll go back to the dream part, but today, I wore all navy or bright blue and the dog just flipped out.  He thought I was going to hit him, and if I reached out to pet him, he winced, and snapped (which he never does) when I touched his ear because both of his ears seemed hot.  He just kept staring at me too, like he knew who I was, he thought, but he was confused because something I was wearing reminded him of bad people.  Either that, or he was around bad people recently. I thought, I'm wearing all blue, head to toe, with some yellow sleeves (under a blue jacket) and I thought, "Police".  Who else wears solid blue head to toe?  If it wasn't a cop, it was someone else and possibly I thought someone got into their house.

I made a noise and he was right at the door too, like someone had recently been around.

In my dream last night, I wasn't asleep but almost asleep and some weird music was on and it was like some kind of weird snake charmers music and I was about to go with these people to dance at some place and then I heard my mother screaming for me saying, "Cameo! WAKE UP!"  Basically, hysterically screaming.  So I got out of my half-sleep and stood up and turned on a light and looked out at their house because it was so much like my Mom, I wondered if someone was in their house, a man.  It wasn't a flashback idea from Monica saying, "Wake up! there's a man in the house!" it was my mother's voice clearly.  I then went back to bed bc I couldn't see anything and I knew I could go back to the dream if I wanted and I didn't want to.  I've picked up from dreams that are interrupted before and I chose not to go back to that one. 

I have had this feeling that someone has entered my parent's house before, late at night, and terrorized them with lights out and everything.

My Dad had a bright red spot on one side of his neck that looked like the muzzle of a hot gun, or not hot gun, was pushed up against him for a long time.  On the right side of his neck.  I said, "Were you around any cops today?" and he said why did I say that and I said, "Because this one cop drove by today and I could tell he expected me to look away or not look at him, but I did, and he had this mean hard look on his face, and was shocked I looked at him and waved."  I said, "He didn't have dark brown hair, he sort of had a face like William of Wales but bigger or something and just looked MEAN."  They said maybe he wasn't.  But that's why it came to mind.

So then I was sitting by the fireplace and I accidentally bumped this thing by the woodstove and it made a sound like pots and pans or something metal, and the dog jumped up, and went to the door and barked.  Then he calmed down and I showed him what it was and made the sound, and he kept looking at it and then at the doors.

It made me wonder if someone who is a stranger was in our house making a sound on metal like pots and pans might make, who our dog didn't like.

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