Wednesday, March 20, 2013

My Son and Mother Sick

My son is sick, with a cold for the last 2 days.

My mother got sick, starting after the Malicious Mormon left the house. I said what's wrong? and she said "Nothing. I have a sore throat." I said since when, and it was since about the time he left, but also, their employee, Bob Little's wife, came over with her grandson and she was in the house for awhile and then took a sack of trash out. I watched her from the window.

I know something has happened with the house worker because my Dad acted weird around him, like he was going to be hurt, especially last year, and grim and upset, and my mother kept looking drugged and tortured and the dog was terrified of him. He also came in, looking really mean at times, and doing bizarre things around my Dad.

I don't know when my Mom got the sore throat, but I think it started at work actually. My son also has been home sick. Which is good. I hope he gets to recover, and I'm sure it's a nice break from the brats. I said I hope he gets to stay in another day too.

As for me, I guess I made some progress with the child rape situation, and who is involved, and who was trying to kill me the first or second time (Roos wasn't alone, I mean, didn't act alone).

I think my Mom is worried about retaliation for saying anything to me about "the elders who laid their hands on you". I was hoping she might stay home tomorrow or to know where she's going but I think she figures, there is no escape. And this is true, in many ways, because we are being tortured by NASA and they are torturing me now, and have been since they quit, out of shock, when I first wrote about Tony Roos, and Cardno company, and Heinz. They quit until I didn't look up exec profiles and then I suppose someone feels they must be safe. I didn't click on "his" or "her" photo, so I must not know.

This country is torturing us. I was never tortured to my pelvis and heart until after the surgery in Maryland. It isn't any other area, so this country, as someone brought up, put a metal stent in. I was never tortured in these other areas before. Not until after the surgery, and then they waited until I wasn't with Alvaro. I guess that was the plan--to "detonate" or torture me whenever I wasn't with Alvaro anymore to keep me in line, or kill me.

They could kill me at any time.

What they have been doing, is close enough to killing me, and causing problems, that they know they can kill me, and instead, they keep me alive for lab science and call me nuts.

The U.S. government put a metal stent into my heart. It was not necessary. There was nothing wrong with my heart, at all. I was hemmorhaging from the pelvic region, not from my heart. and I had no heart problems. They used the surgery of D&C as an excuse to get into my body, probably extracted and stole at least one egg from me, as they organized the surgery to occur around my time of ovulation, (yes, seriously), and they inserted a metal stent to my heart, through the groin. This is how they do this kind of thing. It was never possible for the U.S. to torture me in this way prior to that surgery.

This is most likely the only reason the U.S. is trying to obstruct me from being a surrogate. I don't think they want someone else to find their evidence, and they have wanted to keep using it to torture me by and they can't do this if I'm pregnant. If they did, they would incur lawsuits from another country, because I am not going to carry a U.S. citizen's child. I'm not carrying any child for the U.S. government. Other governments or citizens? Possibly, yes. But no to the U.S. and no to Canada and for safety reasons, I have to say no to India.

I would most like to carry a child for a vegan anarchist. Or an anarchist who isn't vegan, but doesn't mind if their child is vegan. I'm not saying that's my dating preference or kind of people I want to be around all the time. Surrogacy is unique and a specific thing for a specific time and purpose and it's exclusive of my other ideas. I figure an anarchist doesn't mind my determination and isn't afraid of me, but also knows in a different setting and country, I would be very nurturing and not traumatized all the time.

This country is POISON.

IT is poisonous. Everything that this government has done to my family, is poisonous. They try to poison us literally and poison our lives with their hate crime and torture, making us miserable and nothing like how we really are. I am not going to raise a child in a poisonous environment which is why I don't want my son here and it's also why I would never carry anyone else's child here. Why would I stay here and give the U.S. the opportunity to poison me or another child, or ruin my environment and peace and that of the child?

I don't even laugh anymore, and I never hear my parents laugh. They used to laugh all the time. If I laugh now, it's only when I randomly think of some situational humor or when I have suddenly felt the presence of God. The times I've felt the presence of God, are very strong and it feels like a lot of people praying all at once. I tend to laugh for some reason then, not because something is funny, but out of joy or I might think of something funny, and then it's magnified by the presence of God, sort of like being drunk, but not being drunk. Giddy with God (now there's a title).

I think my feelings are wrong sometimes, and not dependable, but sometimes I do know it's God and not anything else. Other times, I'm unsure. Like the other night when I walked to the store to buy some things, I passed two men who were standing around a corner and before they said anything, I felt a good vibe from somewhere and then one of them said, "Fuck". That was it. And I passed, and had a giddy breathless, almost noiseless laugh that came out of nowhere and he said it normal and not with any kind of loud meaning at all. It was like he said a bad word but I sensed a good presence. I laughed twice. I laughed, and stopped and then it happened again. So I wondered about that and thought, in that situation, it's anything and I can't even trust what I think was maybe a good vibe. Later that same night, I laughed again, twice. I don't really know why, and the next time it was out loud and then I thought, "Why am I laughing in twos". But I wouldn't say "that is the presence of God", I would think, "I don't know what that was. Anything, and I hope it wasn't evil." (didn't seem evil). Other times, I have known for sure it was the presence of God, and that is my favorite thing because the feeling of prayer from others, or presence of God, is better than anything. No, I'm not a nun and I am not interested in praying all the time or sleeping. There is time for that in heaven. I am just explaining this. It's not drugs and it's not mania either. However, when God commands other not to "quench the holy spirit", it means, "hands off" and keep your fucking drugs and medications away from Cameo Garrett (or so-and-so, or anyone). The most disturbing excuses for medicating people, non-consensual medication, are made--and what I've found it comes down to, is fear and jealousy.

People try to medicate others they wish to suppress. Or, they try to medicate someone and then retroactively, that the reason for the 'cure' (so-called) is the 'condition' as if someone taking a 'cure' even HAS that condition to begin with. Enemies try to employ backwards logic. If they are medicated, therefore they are sick. Anyone can take a healthy person, write them a prescription for flu medicine, force them to take it and then say, "They were given flu medicine and it was ordered and administered because they have very bad flu." The assumption is that doctors are following the Hippocratic Oath.

Well guess what.

50% of them do not even know who Hippocrates is.

They then practice fraudulent medicine with the protection of the general assumption that a doctor will not diagnosis or treat someone with something against their will, or contrary to the facts or truth. It's fraud to do otherwise. However, doctors have largely fallen into the same routine as law enforcement and officials who feel their 'authority' gives them the cover they need to practice crimes against others and degrade their character and credibility. The same Section 1983 tort that is used to sue law enforcement and government officials for "abuse of authority" and "use of authority to create a legal auspice as cover for illegal actions" could and should be applied to doctors and medical professionals. It is not just medical "malpractice"--it is the discrete application of their authority as a cloak for their dagger. Bleed-letting went out of fashion in the 1800s dears.

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