Random Reading (done a little differently) & Rainbow Mind Control?

I did a couple things differently.

Well, and I prayed my steps would in every way bring me closer to the return of my son. I had something unusual happen today, what came to mind later was "taking kate the great through the halls of montezuma." I'm totally joking about that. I went from the party supply store to the mason's hall. I'll explain that one later. bc then after "georgie porgie puddin' pie" went through my mind, the song "Through the halls of montezuma, to the shores of tripoli..." ran through my mind. After all this, I prayed.

Then, I went to the christian bookstore and picked out some things.

First, I decided to choose 7 books at random, mainly from the children's section. And I did. Then I realized I had 8 instead of 7. Also took 2 cards.

Then I purposefully selected a Veggie Tales book, thinking about my son. I did this one while looking, not random.

Then, I thought to select things for some special man, maybe only God knows who it would be for. I don't know. So I just did this one separately and got 6 and picked out a Saint card, just for the heck of it, without looking at it was St. John who is, I guess, patron of the sick. That was weird. Some truck just drove by with the number 6 on the side, right after I wrote this.

I did pray before both random selections but it was short.

I figure sometimes a lot of time praying is good and necessary and then other times, it's being proud to think more effort on our part will do the trick when it is God's work and not our own doing or efforts or goodness that always is the thing, but the power of God, who hears very long prayers and sacrifice and fasting as much as a really short memo to God in the middle of the workday. I think I have a balance in believing that God saves through faith alone, just belief in who He is, and then also, in our good works. Sort of a balance. And only God knows the heart.

So the books I got from the random reading first:

1. I Can Read! Yo se leer! (shared My First reading). Jonah and the Big Fish/Jonas y el gran pez. pg. 14, "Get up Jonah! They said. "We are in big trouble! Say a prayer for us!"

2. Tried and True Job (Arch Books)
pg. 8, "Job's wife turned against him, but couldn't shake his belief. So Satan wouldn't let Job get one bit of relief."

3. Jesus Feeds 5,000 (pencil fun books)
pg. 14, "the boy ran through the crowd, watching people eat their lunch" (after he'd helped feed the 5,000)

(the next books were not taken from the children's section at all, but they almost all had something to do about children and were taken from all sections of the bookstore, as I was thinking about my son)

4. Heaven: Finding Our True Home by Douglas Connelly
pg. 17, A description about death and how it is viewed, positive and good, as "sleep, an exodus, taking down a tent, coming home" and then for some a terror and enemy.

5. Chicken Soup for the Soul: Teacher Tales by Jack Canfield
pg. ? Chapter 5 preface: Teacher Tales: Thanks, I Needed That.
"I am indebted to my father for living, but to my teacher for living well." --Alexander the Great.

6. Deep Justice in a Broken World: Helping Your Kids Serve Others and Right the Wrongs Around Them by Chap Clark and Kara Powell.
pg. 70, "The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the broeknhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor." (Isaiah 61:1-2)

Isaiah describes in detail God's kingdom purposes for the world he created and loves. In Isaiah 16:5, for example, we are told that the King who comes to reign will be the one who "seeks justice" and "speeds the cause of righteousness."

7. Calico Canyon by Mary Connealy
some romance about a woman named Grace and a man named Daniel.
pg. 151, "With an indeliecate snort, she shook her head. "My word, if general Grant had you boys on his side, the Civil War would have ended the first weekend. How could I not know you apart?"

8. Hugs for Daughters by Chrys Howard
pg. 55, "I clothe you in garments of salvation. You wear a robe of righteousness. Because of my great love for you, I made you alive in Christ. You are My jewel. I'll remember My covenant with you forever."--Eternally, Your Heavenly Father. (Isaiah 49:16; 61:10; Ephesians 2:4-5; Psalm 111:5).

(i thought this was going to be a book about daughters of mothers and fathers but it's also about being a daughter of god)

this page is the other half of a section which starts on pg. 54 with, "My Darling Daughter, You're unforgettable. In fact, I've engraved you on the very palms of My hands."

9 & 10 (cards)
I went to the card section and randomly picked out cards. I got one with a little baby on the front and it says "You trace a soft finger across tiny, sleeping eyes and wonder, "God gave you to me?"--Max Lucado. Inside it says "Children are a gift from God" Ps. 127:3. Congratulations on your new baby--a sweet little gift form the Lord. (Dayspring: share your heart and God's love)

the other is of a sailboat on the water and it says "For A Special Nephew": this comes with loving thoughts and appreciation for the special person God created in you. What a blessing you are to our family! Blessings on your birthday. "Whenever we pray for you, we always begin by giving thanks to God..." Colossians 1:3 (Dayspring. Max Lucado. Author max Lucado, a full-time husband, dad, and minister, knows the power of encouraging words. He hopes his words touch both your heart and soul)
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The one I picked out with my son in mind, was "Big Idea VeggieTales Bible Storybook with scriptures from the NIV).
pg. 202 and 203. "He hated injustice--he taught what was right. He said, "I'm the Way and the Truth and the Light." His friends soon believed that he was the one, the Savior, Messiah; in fact, God's own Son. But others, they doubted, they did not agree. So they took him, they tried him; he died on a tree. There is nothing to fear, nothing, heaven knows. He died for us to give us life, and to give us hope, he rose." CRASH! Hope's song came to a crashing end as the wrecking ball smashed through the first window of the church! Ebenezer woke from his sleep. "Wait!" Ebenezer yelled as he ran down the street, through the door, and up the aisle of S.Bart's Church. "I was wrong! Easter isn't about plastic eggs. It's all about hope that this life isn't all there is!" Edmund smiled up at Mr. Nezzer, who promised to use the money he saved for Easter Land to help make him well." The End.
(hmm, this sounds like a message for the State of Washington, to use the money they saved by denying me and my son a normal lawyer, for righting the wrongs they committed against us)
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Then,, the other books, the 6 I randomly chose after picking out a St. John bookmark at random, were as follows:

1. Hometown Ties by Melody Carlson (the Four Lindas)
pg. 205, "Si", he said quietyly. "I know it."
Janie reached into her purse now, pulling out two twenties. "To pay for dumping the garbage," she explained, "For today." "Si. Gracias.." He pointed to a decaying cardboard box of glass jars. "And for glass...it is free."
"Oh." She smiled. "Recycling?"
"Si." He nodded eagerly. "Recycling."
"If you have questions or need more money for the garbage dump, you come by my house, okay?" she whispered.

2. Promises of Comfort from God's Word
pg. 58 "My God will richly fulfill your every need in a glorious way through christ jesus." Phili.4:19
pg. 59, "INSULTED". "All who see me make fun of me. Insults pour from their mouths. They shake their heads and say, "put yourself in the Lord's hands. Let the Lord save him! Let God rescue him since he is pleased with him. The Lord has not despised or been disgusted with the plight of the oppressed one. He has not hidden his face from that person. The Lord heard when that oppressed person called out to him for help." Psalm 22:7-8, 24

3. Night Light for Parents by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson
pg. 27, "Checklist for Spiritual Training" Concept 1. "Love the Lord your God with all your heart" (Mark 12:30)
--Is your child learning of the love of God through the love, tenderness, and mercy of his parents (Most important)

4. Finding Hope when your Circumstances Seem Impossible: When God Disappears by Shane Stanford
pg. 114, "Why are you here?" I asked, trying to be courteous with the same questions she had asked me, though i knew very well the answer." (about a girl who is at Saturday school for getting in a fight after she was bullied)

5. God's Little Instruction Book for Men
pg. 73, "You can accomplish more in one hour with God than one lifetime without Him." "With God, all things are possible." Matthew 19:26

6. More Than Words by Judith Miller
pg. ? (preface): "But the Lord said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart." I Samuel 16:7

(I think this is just not saying someone can't be favored if they look good, but whether someone looks great or has a lot going for them on the exterior or not is not how God looks at things. but God blesses people too--however, God sees more than we do from the outside.)
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Then I went to posters and the first one I just looked at says not to worry about the "task for the future always seems greater than the power within you." and then Eph. 6:10, about strength in the Lord.
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So anyway, it was this morning that I went to grab something for breakfast and then I was walking past the booksotre and knew someone wanted me to go to the party supply store. I have no idea why. I have only been there a couple of times and thought, oh what the hell, I will make someone really happy, I'm sure. So I saw the pink and white wedding decor in the windows and the candelabras and everything. Usually, in the past, I've gone in through the front door. But I went right through the doors and just walked straight through. I didn't look at a thing there, just used the store as a way to take a short cut out the back.

As I went through the door I saw the presents at the door. I realized I had been supposed to go through the front, where the presents wre given and placed and then the wedding stuff was going out the back. I did the reverse. REVERSE THE CURSE! REVERSE THE CURSE!

No, I'm totally joking. So then I felt I couldn't just leave. I couldn't go away like that. I thought, "Maybe if I go to the Masons next..." and made an aboutface, turned around, and proceeded to go through the back door of the MASON building which just so happened to be open.

I walked through the painting and construction and they said could they help me and I said oh, I just thought it might be good luck to walk through their building that day. They stare and I walked right past them over to a table. I said, "I think this imight be my good luck right here, " and looked at this painting with all this masonry symbolism and a rainbow to the right and a mother and children to the left. Underneath were plant and garden pictures. I looked at book for a minute too and then set it down. Then the guy was talking about George Washington and I said I was somehow related to him and I looked over to a different corner and said, "There's George there!" I said, "Well, Georgie Porgie Pudding Pie," and thought (to myself) as I said this, "Is George Washington the only George here?" and then I walked out the front door after going in through the back one, and then as I walked out there was this huge thing in print on the sidewalk that said only "RAINBOW"

Of course I didn't pick it up. That would have been bad. I think.

So then I went on my way thinking "I am a bona fide victim of mind control"

And I don't want my son to be next, so very nice, but I do want my son back. Thank you and that's all.

Oh yeah, and a rainbow, after I had earlier typed an email to the UN and other agencies about helping out with the flooding in Pakistan. Short term. Like one week or so, so I can take care of my legal thing about my son. Not abandoning him ever and thought maybe even some people in the UN might have ideas but I'm too broke to go unless my airfare is paid for. It's been in my mind, to help out in Pakistan for a short time, for a few weeks. So it wasn't some manic and impulsive idea. I looked up cheap flights but they are all too expensive, even to India and then going in from there. But I looked it up because it was an idea that I had.

And next to the rainbow on the Mason painting was Noah's ark and I can't remember if there was maybe a saying about God's promise to never flood the entire earth again.

And then the weird thing was that this sentence popped into mind, "I just took Kate The Great through the halls of Montezuma" but in a joking way and not serious or knowing what the hell is going on. I seriously don't even care about her but this town is really weird about it so it comes to mind. The only time I really freaked out was when I said a youtube music video, where the woman looked like she was wearing a tennis skirt was dancing, I joked that it was Kate but I was completely joking, in a Saturday night live way, and then I was seriously horrified to then find out there were some photos of her playing tennis and right after that she wanted a restraining order on them. I thought, "My GOD what have I done?" It was funny, in that joking way, that no one would take seriously, until I then read news for I think, the first time, for some strange reason, about her, (I guess bc I'd made a light joke) and then I saw this and I thought, "You have got to be kidding me) and I erased some things I had written bc I didn't want someone thinking I new about that or feeling bad or that I was hitting on any kind of truth at all.

When I say things with uncanny coincidence, most of the time I never know, so don't think I actually do. I think this has gotten me into trouble in the past.

I just looked it up and it says Halls of Montezuma is the Marin's official hymn. I hope I did something that would have made my Grandpa Garrett proud. Now, I want my kid back you bastards.

Actually, I think my Grandpa Garrett would have been disgusted if he were alive to see what is going on now.

I then went to this cafe and there was fudge that I thought looked good, the Maple Nut, and I thought how that one in particular looked good and then I looked up and over to the other side of the counter and this one so-happened to be the featured sample of the day.

I bought a piece.
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I think I should do a selection for my enemies and my son's enemies.

I just went out and got 12. Just ended up with that many, not counting.

The saint bookmark I got which was random was St. Anne and it says "Patron Saint of Mothers".

1. I Can Read! (reading 2 with help). Frank and Beans and the Scary Campout by Kathy-jo Wargin. pg. 23. "There sat a fat raccoon. It was eating the spilled popcorn. Frank and his dad laughed."

2. Samson (Arch books)
pg. ? "Without God's power to help him, Bald Samson, weak and blind, was shackled to the mill wheel, the prison wheat to grind. Day after day he labored, but people did not know that as the days were passing, his hair began to grow."

3. Madres de la Biblia by Ann Spangler and Jean Sperda
pg. 89 for Lunes. Su Historia. "Ruben, Simeon, Levi, Jauda, Isacar, Zabulon, Dina y luego Gad y Aser por mi criada. Estos son los hijos de Dios, los que me ha permitido darle a mi amado Jacob."

4. Former Contestants on The Biggest Loser/The 90-Day Fitness Challenge by Phil Parham and Amy Parham.
pg. 119, "From the first day on the ranch, we had to record our food intake in a food journal every day. Sometimes I would be so tired from working out that I'd try to avoid it like the plague...The most important thing to keep in mind is to be honest about the food you are writing down. If you chew a piece of gum, write it down. If you eat two cheeseburgers, write it down. Never be afraid to face the truth that stares back at you through the food journal."

5. World's Collide by Alison Strobel
pg. 120, "I went back to the hard plastic chair and sat down. I slowly fniished the coffee, which hd cooled to a drinkable temperture, but there wasn't enough caffeiene to keep me awake. I jerked back to consciousness about thirty minutes later and went down to the cafeteria to get something to eat. I was just returning from a short walk outside when the doors to the trauma room opened and a bed was rolled out by two nurses. A young, pale woman with dark hair matted with blood lay on the bed, tubes and wires running all over the place like some freak science experiment. A steady beep emanated from a machine that one of the nurses was rolling along beside the bed as they disappeared down the hall."

6. The Power of a Positive Wife by Karol Ladd
pg. 137, "the man and wife are partners, like two oars in a boat."--Henry Smith

7. God's Promises for your Every Need
pg. 118, "Though he was a Son, yet He learned obedience by the things which he suffered." Hebrews 5:8

8. The Sacred Ordinary: Embracing the Holy in the Everyday by Leigh McLeroy
pg. 72. "Most of us there that day did not know one another." (above this it says, "King Solomon said, "Remember also your Creator in the days of your youth, before the evil days come and the years draw near when you will say, "I have no delight in them."

9. Trusting God: Even When Life Hurts by Jerry Bridges
pg. 103 (from section on Natural Disasters)
"While working on this chapter, I watched the evening news on television one night. One of the top stories was about several powerful tornados that swept across central Mississippi, killing 7 people, injuring at least 145 more, and leaving nearly 500 families homeless...But God brings Himself into these events. he said in Isaiah 45:7, "I form the light and create darkness, I bring prosperity and create disaster; I, the Lord, do all these things."

10. 2 Timothy 1:7, Game On! Spiked! by Stephen D. Smith with Lise Caldwell
pg. 51, "Heaven knew, Katie's track record for judging people's characters wasn't too great. By the time lunch rolled around, Katie had daydreamed her way throughthe entire morning. Sarah, who was determined to help Katie avoid academic probation, asked her friend how the morning went as they sat down together at the lunch table. "I've been thinking," Katie said. "Let me guess. Probably not about earth science."
"Very funny, "Katie replied. "Actually, I've been thinking about Grant.
"So, more like chemistry," Sarah retorted.

11. The Covering: God's Plan to Protect You In the Midst of Spiritual Warfare by Hand Hanegraaff and Jay Strack.
pg. 71, "Only 3% of teens say they never get angry. The most popular response to anger among teens is to walk away from or ignore it. Only 4% of teens confront or discuss their anger with the person who angered them. What are some things that teens get angry with each other about? List five."

12. Heaven if Real: Lessons on Earthly Joy--What Happened After 90 Minutes in Heaven by Don Piper and Cecil Murphey
pg. 28, "Perhaps the most difficult thing that happens when people have overpowerfing changes in their lives is they find it difficult to accept the reality of an event. They remember how life used to be and they want to go back to the former way. They can't accept that their lives have changed. "

13. (I guess there were 13 and not 12.) Murder by Family:
The Incredible True Story of a Son's Teachery and a Father's Forgiveness by Kent Whitaker
pg. 139, "I wrestled with making sense of those nightmares for a long time. I had been told that he would not be able to receive psychiatric help while in jail, but he was my son and I needed to understand. I was not trained in psychanalysis so I knew that trying to figure out whatever mental illness brought Bart to December 10 would put me in waters way over my head. With input from a lot of people, Bart and I haveworked hard to figure this out. Eventually the pieces of the puzzle started coming together and I began to understand the problem: a "real" Bart didn't even exist. He didn't have a sense of who he was because nothing inside him was real. He explained it this way: other people had an inner core that was their essence (and which they not only built their personality and lives upon but also retreated to in times of stress); Bart was empty. He had only a visual exterior, with no supporting foundation, framework, or substance. Such emptiness required him to improvise responses based on the conditions he encourntered and whom he was with instead of making decisions based on who he was inside.

For years Bart had tried unsuccessfully to fill that emtiness by doing what he thought a normal person should do and by being what he thought people wanted him to be, hoping that eventually something would permanently graft to his soul. He wanted to become a real person, but every time he looked for internal direction, the cupboard was bare. This emptiness produced a deep shame, for in his eyes these problems devalued him as a person. he tried to hide it by pretending to be normal, weairng one mask when he was with us, a slightly different one when he was with his girlfriend, another at work, and yet another at school. They were all lies. In his early teens he finally grew exhausted from trying and gave up on ever having a real self to guide his actions. Thus he opened the doors to the tragedy that was to come.

How different things might have been if Tricia and I had known and been able to help fight what was happening inside the son we loved.

Bart told me that he vividly remembered when the confusion over his identify and belief system took their fatal turn. On Christmas Eve,
when he was in eighth grade, we were coming home from a candlelight service after visiting my parents. Riding in the dark that evening, he recalled a poem he had read recently--William Blake's "The Little Boy Lost"

"Father, father, where are you going?
O do not walk so fast.
Speak father, speak to your little boy,
Or else I shall be lost."

"The night was dark, no father was there,
The child was wet with dew.
The mire was deep, & the child did weep,
And away the vapour flew."

I'm lost too, he thought to himself as he looked at the back of my head, and you don't even know it. I hate this! God, where are you when I need you so bad?"
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So that was my random reading for my and my son's enemies.

I randomly selected books in the very same way I selected them for the other things. I prayed first, on my knees, before doing this last one. The other times, I didn't exactly get on my knees, but for this one I was going to do, I prayed God would cut through all the psychic and craft crap others sometimes use to mask for God and I just picked out books that would apply to the lives of not those in my own family or my life, or my son's life who my son loves, but the lives of others who have harmed us. About things they have done to me and my son especially as well and I was surprised to see how many passages I randomly got about suffering when that is almost all that my son and I have endured because of these groups of people. There was no specific idea or theme in mind, just that something would pertain to our enemies, whether it was things they did to me and my son, or things that God had to say to them, or how something might fit their lives in some way.

Maybe, for those who go to the saints, I could pick out a saint to pray to for repentance. Okay, I went to the bookmarks, and without looking first, prayed and then allowed my hand to choose one. It was Saint Therese: Patron Saint of Miracles.

I always think my son and I need the miracle, but maybe God sees all of this differently. We may have someone looking out for us and seeing our hearts whereas it is the hearts of others that need a miracle. So from me and from this saint,

It says, "O little Flower of Jesus, please pick a rose from the heavenly garden and send it to me with a message of love. Ask God to grant me the favor I aske and tell Him I will love Him each day more and more."

I guess, if the shoe fits, for any of these things, you can wear it.

God bless you (if you change your ways towards my son)

I will also try something else from other bookmarks. One for me and my son and then one for our enemies. There are cameras here so anyone can tell if I cheat or not. I never do. I like seeing how God can do things even out of random chaos and organize that, just as this world came into being. Physics.
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Here is what I got.
First one, I told God, would be for me and my son and the second one, something of encouragement to our enemies.

For me and my son:
My grace is sufficient for thee: For my strength is made perfect in weakness 2 Corin. 2:9
on the back it says, "My Grace"

For our enemies:
"God's love never ends. "the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end. --Lamentations 3:22".

Not bad, to be a recipient of God's mercy.

I know that for me, the passage on Grace has a lot of meaning.

So let's test it again. This time I said whatever I got for our enemies first and then for me and my son second...

For our enemies, a bookmark with a pig on it and it says "The earth is the Lord's and the FULLNESS thereof." Psalm 24:1

The one for me and my son has a cat on it and it says, "Trust in God's timing. It's always right. "Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him. Psalm 37:7"

So I'll try it again, and let's see how God does or doesn't work at random.

This time, for me and my son, "Each of us matters to God" with 4 kittens.
For our enemies: "Help me to remember, Lord, that nothing is going to happen today that you and I can't handle together. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord, is the Rock eternal. Isaiah 26:4"

Next time:
Our enemies: Got the same cat card. "Trust in God's timing. It's always right. Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him."
Me and my son: "Trust in God to guide your steps. (which is something I prayed specifically today) "Your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. Psalm 139:10"

5th time:
Our enemies: "trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will your paths straight. Prov. 3:5-6" (photo of a long curved road with a contrast msg about how God can make even crooked paths straight)
Me and my son, "You can give your worries to God...because he can untangle them. "Don't worry about anything; instead pray about everything. Phil 4:6" (with photo of a puppy and a kitten lying peaceably side by side)

6th time:
Our enemies: Psalm 23 (no photo but a drawing of a sheep)
Me and my son: a photo of a puppy (looks like my mom's schitzu) and it says "Help me to remember, Lord, that nothing is going to happen today that you and I can't handle together. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord, is the Rock eternal. Isaiah 26:4"

7th time:
Our enemies: A turtle and a bee drawing with saying "God loves me because I'm me!" Deut. 23:5
Me and my son: A drawing of a teacup with morning glories around it. "Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him. Psalm 37:7."

8th time:
Our enemies: God is with you...rain or shine (puppy with hat on)
My son and I: Strength for the Journey: "don't worry that you're not strong enough before you begin. It is in the journey that God makes you strong. "The Lord shall guide thee continually and satisfy thy soul. "Isaiah 58:11" (road)

9th time:
Our enemies: (purple flower) "God has given us two hands. One to receive with and the other to give with."
Me and my son: (photo of yellow rubber boots) "Anyone who says only sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain. You fill me with joy in your presence. Psalm 16:11"

10th (final!) time:
Our enemies: "the lord is my light and my salvation--whom shall I fear? the lord is my stronghold of my life--of whom shall I be afraid? psalm 27:1"
Me and my son: "Smile! God Loves you!"
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all of these things are positive so there isn't going to be anything bad for anyone, no matter who it is. However, I would say that on the side of our enemies, there seems to be a lot of boasting, though I think some concessions were made. Just kidding. I know for me at least, all of the ones I got for myself and my son, had some deeper meaning or significance. When I asked for one specifically for my son, I got the one about strength.

I think it was best when I did just one bc then the other times I'm not focused as much, but still.

I guess I could do one from the Bible (enemies and other) and then get on with other things. No, I don't think so. I can tell someone is working against it and all good things right now. I don't think it would be a good idea at this time.