There is going to be a change in what I write. In short time, I will not be writing about myself anymore or what I come across and what happens to me--it will receive no notice.
Instead, my blog will focus on the work and actions of others that have nothing to do with me.
What is going on, is wrong. If I am not getting paid to be on exhibition, no one is getting credit by me for what things someone wants noted in my blog. Not only that, I will be limiting where I go and what I do on account of what has been going on.
Setting up scenarios and a little lottery in a church is no different from selling goods in the temple besides. I am very disappointed with how pastors are leading their flock and what they are allowing in the sanctuary. This is why some people don't go to church--they don't need another obstacle course. I didn't need to go to church today to see a big bulletin on "the king of love" and king this and that with a royal crest and a sword across it and more carols and katie's and people thinking it's hilarious. I do not think it's funny and it means nothing, and no one lives their lives by random chance except gamblers. My life is not up for a throw of lots, and while you enjoy your gaming, you are the reason I am in a bad position to begin with and then you think you can capitalize on this. This includes all of the churches I've been to in this town.
As I already know some of this is military, and you are not paying me for your use of me and my son and our time, you are not getting any further cooperation from me in what dreams I get, what things come to mind, and what is sent or received. When you pay me for my time, I will reward you with results.
This means I will not be putting information even on my laptop anymore, once I get my cord shipped to me, because I have had a constant problem with hackers intercepting everything I do. So while I may write legal motions or do what I can, I am not going to be using computers much anymore, for giving you more ideas to work with. I have people monitoring what I do on public and private computers and it's none of your business.
I will be more than happy to continue to write about others though, good and bad. But the free-for-all on where I go and what I'm doing and dreaming and thinking is over. I have given enough for certain people to know that, if they want to make use of me, they can make some interesting discoveries, but they can pay me for what they do.
This is the last time I document anything regarding cats and other things as well. Now it doesn't seem very random anymore because this latest cat had a collar on it with a certain color. I opened up my door a crack and sat making calls about books for my son and I had the door cracked about 6 minutes or so and then a cat came through, poked nose around the corner, and then backed out when we made eye contact. It happened about a half hour ago. When I looked outside, there wasn't anyone on either end where it looked someone had set the cat out but I don't know where it went. It started coming into my room a couple minutes after I opened the door and it's a hotel so no one has cats in their rooms. Not that I know.
If someone wants to make things more interesting, I might be available.
Call me and maybe we can work out financial details.
Pay me for my time or leave me and my son alone. Leave my son alone regardless. I have had a bad feeling all day again. In general, my mood was good, but when I have to deal with more stuff when people know I plan to show up at a certain place, it bothers me.
And I feel this sadness is very real. There is something that is very sad about this entire situation and I feel for my son. I think someone else I care about isn't happy. I still have a chance to have him back, but I need absolute security that he is safe and not going to be harmed and that I am not going to be a target of any technology stuff.
Some of the men who have purported to help me and my son have used this technology on us and I haven't even listed all the names. We're not political pawns. We are people who deserve to be treated like normal people.
I like working on the psychic stuff. I do, but it's not appropriate for me to engage in this for free when my son and I are punished and held back in other ways at the same time. We're not to be toyed with and I feel there are good things in store for us that sometimes others want to muddle and confuse. I don't feel this is respectful of free will and it's tampering with things God does want to do.
I just have a bad feeling and I think it has to do with my son and some who care about me. I didn't write anything earlier because even though all this stuff was going on, the vibe was centered somehow and yet I am sensing the sadness again.
The one thing that affects my life is that my son is not with me. If my son were with me I would be fulfilled and yet last night I was thinking about kids again, because I'd like to have more, and all of this other stuff, isn't real. It's a bunch of people, from what I can tell, casting lots and playing mind games and I feel, some probably trying to disconnect the real meaning from what is true. I feel lost, as to what the point is.
Clarins came to mind and I don't know why. The only thing I know of that's clarins is skincare. But Clarins came to mind.
I will give this self-reporting one or two more days and that is it. Then I am done. There is no "destiny" if I am not master of my own fate and people are not free to make choices for themselves. You have to risk getting close to someone and figuring something out rather than relying on "signs" from a distance. Signs which may be from a good source or a source that's not good.
***************
I just feel sadness.
Then "je je" came to mind like "jhey jhey" and i clicked on ge ge and got a song in Korean with another reference to the number 2. Does someone want to explain what 2 is supposed to represent? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bfDAVGfc9ws
This is a little different...Kevin Coyne & Siren:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2CQ8_exefuM. An english group with a dandlion seed in the background. Blues. They're very good. I feel good energy from this song for some reason.
I tried to play this one again and got "Lonesome Ride" by Siren. I like this too but I have to hear that ze ze ze ze song about the bee again.
Still feels like sad energy. It barely lifted and then back down.
I got this--a real JRs song...what gay man wouldn't love this? just kidding. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yey3JWKMlcE. Oh! it's called "I'll fly with you" but that's not which one I thought I was selecting. I thought I was choosing l'amour toujours, gigi de l'amour toujours.
then gucci gucci mami came to mind.
"Lea" by Louis Attaque. I learned this in college, in my one year of French. We sang this as a class. The words about terrorist or your terror came to mind and it brought to mind this song which I had to find. she is not a terrorist. don't be afraid. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0emXuhPTWUM&NR=1. j't emmemene au vent.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJXOYOUKiLw&feature=related. tout le bonheur du monde. I really love this song, especially the chorus. I like how the sound of the words roll on that chorus--tout le bonheur du monde--the whole chorus is perfect. I randomly picked this one and never heard it until now. Just went down a list of french songs and chose this one.
I like switching from the one song back to the other:j't emmene au vent.
You have to be fucking kidding me. "Koora" came to mind, and voila, there's a number 2 again. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_KyYs0Ipy0. It's Harry. Cooking lamb. I don't know. Maybe it's William. I hear he likes to cook. I wonder if he cooks like that. I thought this guys hair was red at first but then it looked blond. By Jamie Oliver--"The Lamb Curry" song. He drums and dances and cooks at the same time.
"Life Is A Minestrone"...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTwRn8sMp5c. Some song about parmesan cheese came to mind and I only found this one. I've never heard it before. I guess before Life Was A Box Of Chocolates, it was a Minestrone.
"I'm Not In Love" by the same band. Had to hear it since I listened to most of their Minestrone song.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2rgepWg4rzw&a=kSj71MwejQY&playnext_from=ML
Cherish came to mind and got moment in time. So-so. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DuAoMvzs6aw&feature=PlayList&p=540DF5D67069026B&playnext_from=PL&playnext=1&index=7. I like the drum song though: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6cPRG-DFmU&feature=PlayList&p=540DF5D67069026B&playnext_from=PL&playnext=2&index=8
Braggish came to mind and found there's a Billy Braggish. Found Billy Bragg: Wish You Were Her: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ygt-jJs2-a8
something about blanket. Got a couple things. One, "Blanket" by Urban Species and ft. Imogene: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26-oTgLdb3U
I think I'll leave it there.
Well, maybe up a notch. With "Spiritual Love": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QqQT5_3FmZM&a=ChimTOohmqo&playnext_from=ML
I like Imogen--she's good. First time I heard her was tonight, I think. And Urban Species is good...I saw that first video and thought maybe they were an East Coast band but they're british? I don't hear the accent though so I didn't guess.
The sadness is not there like it was before, so that's good.
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