Saturday, April 17, 2010

Cats & Herons out Today

More cats. More birds.

I had more cats crossing my path today. At least two o so. A cat on a leash for one and then one corssing the street, like it was on a radar, right after I turned onto the street, right in front of me. I have no idea how it's possible. I know animals cross all the time, but these are just feet away from me and I started noticing when one day about 6-8 cats crossed in the space of a half hour. I am not kidding.

And today birds were not afraid of me. A sandpiper was hopping in front of me just a little bt away, like a foot, and then there was a robin that did the same thing (though this is more common for robins) and then a great heron or a huge blue heron took off after I was leaving a dock down by the water.

Someone was taking my photograph then too. With a professional or semi-pro camera or maybe just an old-fashioned art photo type of camera. I took some tulips from a field where they were going to be mown over by construction anyway and then trimmed them up by the water. So I was sitting there and I got up and as I walking away, this huge heron comes up from right in front of me and then flew to the dock where I had been sitting, soaring low and passed right by the dock. Like it was an airplane on radar. I know that the guy taking the photo saw this but I don't know if anyone else did. Oh, and a peculiar pigeon too.

I had to turn the t.v. off because there were too many reminders of I dont know, myself. I watched part of a movie and it was very eerie how like my life and then I am on the animal planet station and it has a paw print like my son put on my leg, a paw print insignia, which could look like a bear print like blackwater but then it was cats on the t.v. and this exact print. Then there were cakes everywhere and then I was watching "Overboard" and cracked up laughing but even that one. I don't know. Laughing gave me energy for getting out of the house to walk by the water though.

I woke up all ache-y with my spine and back hurting a little and then my neck too. I realized I've gone through a transpormation from Pea Princess to Saint. First I had to go to ER when I slept on a lousy sofa bed instead of a real bed on the East Coast, and then last night I realized what was different, "Oh, I wasn't sleeping on the floor. I was sleeping in a real bed." A Queen bed at that. What a rough night that was. I had to take 2 Tylenol first thing when I got up.

Just joking. But I forgot to sleep on the floor. Maybe I just got used to sleeping on the floor and forgot what I was doing it for. I DID think about international stuff and countries today. It has come to my mind all day, to pray for all of the countries and then I was at a coffee place and I got a magazine which is of U.S. and international news.

One thing that was weird, was I remember only one part of my dreams last night. It was about my son. And it was about him telling me he remembered everything. And then this guy comes into the kitchen today and tells me people never forget and talked for awhile about how people remember and even a small animal remembers and everything. My dream was about memory and in it I was surprised, asking my son how he remembered. I said, "You remember when you were only 1 1/2?" and he said yes.

It was this part where he was elementary school age and with me and he was rolling his eyes about some things others do or had done. Things others wanted HIM to roll HIS eyes over, to turn him against me or mock me or be embarrassed by me. But in my dream he was rolling his eyes about THEM. I didn't encourage it either, he did it on his own. Like he had remembered things and noticed and by the time he was older, had put some things together and he was 100% on my side. And I was shocked and stopped what I was doing in my dream as he started to go off, in my defense and was talking about them and all the things others had done and how I was different.

So that was a nice dream to have.

When I went to the park and to the water, I didn't go to places I used to go to with my son because it made me too sad. I know people saw us playing there and they knew nothing was wrong with either me or my parenting. I was out in public all the time with him and he was so happy, all the time, when we were together. I also thought about him as I was gtting a necklace at a store and it made me sad but I put it out of my mind. I got a pendant of a little boy with an "O" for Oliver since he always says this, "O for Oliver" and wants me to draw this on his calendar and notices. So the pendant isn't my favorite style at all, but I wanted to wear it and show it to him. I was going to get it for him but then the saleslady said mothers bought them for themselves too, and my son might like to see that on me himself, so I thought, true, and good idea. He notices the cross necklace so I am going to wear the O for Oliver pendant and show it to him. I wanted to get these sticky notes for him of smiley faces too, for writing my calendar on, but I thought I could make some up myself sometime. There are a lot of things I'd like to get. I was going to go to the toybrary today too but still don't like the idea after feeling like I'd just picked out someone else's toys and the whole world knew as I was walking around with "Catherines" bag.

For some reason, out of different country's to pray for, Russia came to mind again. Also Ireland. But I thought about praying for all of them. I prayed for something good for Russia today but nothing in mind. Just prayed for that. Brief thought and nothing more. And then I knew I had to pray for all the country's tonight.

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