Lucky Guess

I had a lucky guess today and I think a string of unluckies but I'm just tired. I thought I was meeting someone to look at a place and then I was on the wrong street and didn't have the cell number besides. By the time I got there, he was gone. I felt discouraged and hoped he hadn't known it was the wrong street.

So I went there and on the way some black dog was limping along. It stopped when I was walking close. And then I guess it laid down and wouldn't move, because I looked over my shoulder and it had decided to stay there, lying on the side, rather than go on and I think I felt the owners eyes on my back because I looked behind me and she was facing me to get to the dog.

I thought that dog was going to do one of those hypnotized animal things again--it almost turned it's head to look at me as I approached and wouldn't walk a step more. I wonder how I am smelling these days. What vibes am I giving off?

So then no one there and that was fine but I walked back and forgot I didn't have the cell number and I walked to a house I knew had to be unlucky because it had a statue of a boy with it's back facing the oncoming person. It was facing the corner. Had a bad vibe about it but I was curious and then I turn to go when realizing I didn't even have the number, and there was a toy black cat in the corner. Yish. So I left feeling like I needed to go somewhere else to get rid of the energy. So I was feeling bad but then the bad was negated because I ended up down a narrow side path of a house and I have no clue why I went down there but I did, wondering what was in back and sure no one had set anything up in a remote location. So I came out and through a garden and into a garage facing a jeep and I was curious what kind: Samuri. Which made me think of a sword of course and at the same time I was looking, someone dropped a pan with a clatter. Staged, I'm sure. So I walked on and then I decided to have another hamburger and some curly fries and this guy serves me and I asked him if he was left handed. I don't know why and I am not sure that he was honest with me either. But he said he was right handed but that he used his left foot more than his right for kicking and snowboarded the opposite way. He said his Dad was this way too, but I really don't know if he was telling me the truth. If he was, it's weird that I spontaneously thought something was different in this regard, and if he wasn't, I just had a thought come to mind that wasn't applicable to him. I wasn't looking at his hands at all. I just thought I'd ask him. He said his mother was right hand and foot but I thought, "How does he know his mom is 'right footed'?" so I am a little skeptical about whether he changed his answer or whether he was telling the truth.

After that, I went to the clinic and just wanted to get a ride. I was too tired to walk then.

As I was going through all of this and feeling like a pinball in a pinball machine, I just thought about which people I knew I could trust and wished I knew how to do whatever it was they would do or have me go for protection or whatever. Just so tired and tired of feeling let down.

This towncar guy cut me a nice deal for going back so I did and then I made more calls about apartments and houses and will pound pavement tomorrow.

I trust Will (not on all things). And some of my family--my Dad and uncle Tom and a few others (maybe not all the time but some of the time or most of the time, in general). I don't know enough about others to know or be able to form an opinion. I'd like to get to know others more but it takes time. I also trust a few others, in various ways, because I know they've been reliable and looked out for me and my son and this is extremely important to me. There are probably people I don't even know about who are amazing but I haven't met them yet. Some people too, I would spend more time with, but I've been out of touch so have no idea what is going on or where they're at or would be, with regard to me. I just wouldn't know. I know that I can say there are people I haven't met whom I've seen, in passing, really care. I know this and I am sure there are some who have to conceal that they care too. But I know they're out there.