Music This Morning & Dreams

I had this song on my mind this morning. The Proclaimers "I would walk 500 miles". I love this song because it's not about how much you have but how you invest to show someone you care about them. And it's catchy, and the guy has such a great voice but so geeky with those glasses and expression. And, he expresses the ultimate confidence and determination in going after what he wants, maybe even against odds.

Last night I had many dreams and all of them were colorful and vivid and actually, all of them were strong and had me in a good position. I can't remember even one but I remembered enough upon waking that I could have written them all down.

I woke up at about 3:30 or earlier but I didn't look at the clock until maybe 10 minutes to 4 a.m.

Then I turned on the news and every single major national news station had the wonderful "red tie" newscasters. All the local newscasters were wearing different colors. One woman, who I dn't even know what to think, was making this big point of commenting on the NEWS, how orange was such a great color and she grabbed an orange sweatshirt and held it up next to a black one. I thought, what in the world. For the news? she was just standing in the regular room.

I almost didn't post anything at all this morning. Then I remembered how well that went last time when I tried to go off the radar and people started chasing me down, talking about doing "the job", giving me poison cigarettes and assaulting me in other ways. Yeah, it went really well. I almost got killed. Sure, good idea to just disappear off the web again. I think I would, after I had a little more money to protect myself with because writing only feeds this. I need to get this set up so people have to pay to read my blog becaue then I would be making some money on it.

I am getting maybe this Pentagon man to find someone to go to the visitations with my son because I need a witness in that room. On one hand I don't trust them but on the other hand...I don't know. I want my son back and maybe he can help.

I tried to report for harassment and intimidation in all of these visits and the officer tried to be dismissive about it. I had good grounds for making complaints and he just blew it off and this interferes with my ability to have natural visits with my son. I tried to tell this officer, what is the point in setting up an entire room to be a big "Princess" room, after I make a small post about royal stuff? These visits are not some kind of idea to encourage me to relive my childhood and play with fucking princess barbies. My son certaintly doesn't care about princess pool, and princess computer, and princess this and that. It's distracting. Then, other days it's just been scary or intimidating with references to assault that occured to me. Everytime I go in, they have the whole room set up for a theme based on whatever I last made a post about. It is one thing to have a variety of toys laying around--that's normal. It is NOT normal to have, for example, a little stage with the princess doll face down next to the turquoise princess pool in the middle of the room, with a big rainbow paper next to it and a bunch of other shitty things. It's also not normal to have books PROPPED up to be in the middle of the room and the page turned specifically or marked with something that talks about an "Oliver" or a "Jeffrey" or something directly referencing my son.

When I go into a room to visit my son, I expect to go into a random room which does not have, for example, a brand new Parrot Puppet on a stick on the same day that someone has brainwashed my son to repeat the same words over and over as if he has a stutter. No other time was this out but on that day.

I don't want to see photos of lizards and geckos and dinosaurs displayed all over the room, in prominent positions, on the same day that some asshole brainwashed my son to talk about reptiles and anything "green!" over and over.

I don't want to hear my son saying, as he's looking tired and abuse and horrible, with little pieces of skin picked off of his face or cuticles, he's telling me "the horsies kissed me here" when it is obvious no horsey did this. And I know it's not my aunt and uncle and here these state workers and visitation monitors have seen and witnessed all of this and COLLUDE along with whomever is intimidating my family, to cover it all up.

Michelle, Sue, and Anne have all gone along with it and thought it was amusing. They noted specific things. This is not my family or something they would come up with. It is things that people in positions of greater power and authority are doing to intimidate my entire family and it is abusive of my son.

This is why they blocked me from documenting what was going on in these visits.

I will not stand for it.

My son has also shown up saying words in different languages that he doesn't even know and which my family wouldn't teach him. Native American words, and other languages as well. My son left one day saying what sounded like "ah-coop-eh-tah" and it was obvious someone instructed him to say this.

There have also been threatening messages in that room, where I had just posted about losing my voice and how this assault occured after I joked about the little mermaid and the titanium in my neck.

Next visit, some state worker had put about 4-5 Little Mermaid books all over the room. There is usually only ONE if ANY, books about the little Mermaid because there is a very small selection. But some state worker referenced an actual ASSAULT that I had written about and SET up all of these Little Mermaid books.

That is not normal. That is intimidation of a witness and harassment. To block my ability to document what is going on, and has been going on in these visits for over a year, is obstruction of justice. I am blocked from making evidence of crime and misdemeanors of harassment, collusion, and intimidation, and sometimes, clear brainwashing and abuse of my son.

And all of these workers have been in on it.

Meanwhile, as I am blocked from making evidence of crime, confidentiality is breached as the information and content of the visits with my son are leaked to the entire world and farther, before I've even made a comment.

Some of the visits have been better than others, but it doesn't matter, there should be none of this occuring and this IS what is occuring and I have fucking police officers who try to dismiss this, just like trespass by landlords and anything else they can excuse and dismiss, which is why crazy things happen in this town to begin with and is why NO ONE has any faith in the justice system here.

FIX IT or someone will fucking FIX IT FOR you.