This Morning & My Prayers From Day Before (updated)

I think my enemies are maybe so wicked themselves, with so much potential for hatred, that they imagine if I say one day I have prayed for several things to happen and hope it will be done.

That day, after I wrote this, I had people go out of their way to subvert whatever good they may have thought might come my way. Fear that I might pray for something they don't want to happen, when I have not been so bold as to ask for things that I feel may not be right for me to ask for, or in the Will of God.

I said I had made a list and that I would write about the successes or not, at the end of the day so as not to affect the outcome. So whatever I was praying for, specifically, was left to the imagination. This morning I'll write out what was on that very short list.

This morning after having no sleep, and after being harassed and humiliated further, I sat next to the television at the moment someone on "Bones" or something, was talking about "telekinesis". Of all things. As soon as I sat down, the first thing I heard was an actor in character giving the definition of telekinesis to some partner, "Telekinesis is the ability to move things..."

I got up and went to the computer and played something by a worship group, "Delirious" and didn't even look at what I was clicking on and ended up with "Majesty" which was a great reminder of how I am mocked and ridiculed by others who obviously must feel really good about themselves.

I have had people who have literally told me they are afraid of what I pray for, because it might happen. But the truth is, I do not pray with the idea of a blank check in mind. If anything, I am extremely conservative in what I pray and am afraid to pray for specific things because I don't know what is best.

Were my prayers answered? No, I don't think so. I think that someone or some group was probably actually praying that every single thing I tried to accomplish or pray for would backfire. Which, I don't know what might be going on behind the scenes, if there is anything, but I think it did.

Aside from praying others and different country's, I prayed for the following:

1. New apartment.
Result: not only did I not get into a new apartment, but I was wrongfully terminated from a housing program which is supposed to provide for stable housing situation.
2. Apology from Linda Price.
Result: Maybe I should have been more specific about what kind of apology. Because she did use the words "I'm sorry" that morning, a few minutes later, but it was, "I'm sorry I can't do magic for you." Sarcasm and no sincere apology for intentionally causing upset and distress.
3. Protection for Oliver.
Result: I have no idea.
4. No birds, bees, cats, failure of all these things.
Result: I prayed this not because I don't like it happening, but because I wanted to see if I could cause it to quit or continue with prayer. There was nothing out of the ordinary until that afternoon and then it was more birds. A pair of pigeons out the blue here and there and then when I was getting a ride with the Anglican pastor, as he took off a set of black crows flew down by the hood and then up and away.
5. Bad day for enemies.
Result: I have no idea. It ended up being a bad day for me but I don't know that it was for my enemies--probably not.
6. People who resist in helping, to want to help.
Result: I don't think so.
7. That the man God wants me to be with will not fail or be afraid or shirk but will forward and love me more and will have thoughts about me.
Result: Probably no success.
8. College.
Result: Got a few things sorted out for college but not that day but the next day and with more success and streamlined help than in the past--sort of answered prayer.
9. Someone to give me money (cash for no reason).
Result: No success. I thought, I wonder if I could pray for this and it would happen so I threw it out there but halfheartedly. I felt, given what has been withheld from me, it wasn't greedy or wrong to ask for a small gift, but I think that this is probably like a lotto prayer that seldom is answered. I also know of situations where someone has prayed for something small and it's happened. One time it happened with my parents and they told no one about what they needed and it just happened. Someone anonymously gave them an envelope with the exact amount of money they needed.
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So those were my prayers. Really grand, aren't they? Probably, everyone should be really afraid of the the things I pray for, because they are so threatening and loaded with all kinds of political potential.
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I deleted another thing because I got a bad vibe after posting it publicly. I didn't have a bad feeling from any of my prayers at all, just from posting about something else and it has to do with the feelings of someone else but I don't know who.

I prayed for one small specific thing last night but don't know if it will happen but it's not something I would make public.

The energy was good until about 7:10 a.m. after I posted about a certain prayer. So whatever is causing this, I pray it lifts and is corrected.

Some things I prayed for, I have no way of knowing if my prayer was answered. I guess some things take time, and then sometimes you just don't get what you pray for. The most important thing to me, though, is my son, so if there is one thing I care about, it's this and the other things are not as important at all.

I DID sense good energy, in general, around the day that I prayed. Because there was that horrible sad period and then something changed. So even if things weren't great for me, something had to be going right. I just don't know what it is.
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Anyway, I feel my prayers maybe backfired.
I don't know. Today I sensed good energy and then it went dow. Maybe when things are getting better for me someone or some group wants to make it more difficult for me to prevent me from choosing what I would naturally, or someone else from choosing to be involved as well. I just know it's been strange.

I will pray again today when I find a place to pray.
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I must have offended someone. Things changed again. Maybe not for the better.

Last night I listened to Metallica's "Unforgiven" on replay over and over. It helped me write the report against HPRP. Then I listened to one other Metallica song. But Unforgiven drove me almost all night.

I prayed a little bit. I had the image of someone dragging my son out by his legs and ankles and he's kicking and trying to get away.

I also prayed against someone trying to jinx or hex my prayers. I prayed that the boomerang would go back to them if they did.

I prayed that as the right person has me in mind, or thinks of me, that I will be thinking of them. I also prayed against some guy thinking he has a chance with me if he doesn't, to spare him from wasting his time or thinking about me at all. I get a lot of images of someone that I think I sort of confuse but I don't know if it's just that they are powerful psychics.

Then there are a couple who I find strange parallels with, and I'm realizing I never thought they would be the psychic type but some things seem to coordinate even though I don't think of this person in a romantic sense. The type of person who doesn't seem so serious and more go-lucky so I assume they're not very psychic but I've found a lot of connections.

They say with intelligence, usually siblings are pretty close, even if one seems much more ahead of another for some reason. I wonder if the same is true about psychic stuff.

I don't know if I notice a couple things of parallel because they are sort of psychic or because I am picking up on something and something I am getting just blends in. I don't know.

I also prayed for the break up of a relationship. I guess I'll see if that's a good prayer to pray or not. Probably not. I've never prayed that before, and I didn't pray that I was party to the matter in any way, or involved, or that I would become involved ever. I just prayed for it and it's not anything to do with my family. Just a sense that it would be better for some but if God agrees I guess it will happen and if not, it won't. I don't know why it only came to mind today.

Last night torward the end of the night, there was some of the burning sensation. And then just now it started, about a half hour ago.

I think the most obvious thing is that I need to pursue college all the way through and get in. I applied and am working some things out from a couple of different angles and it seems to be going more smoothly for some reason. The only thing that's really going in the right direction.

I also have to get glasses or contacts and talk to the dr. about anxiety today, from what is going on, and that's about it. I am not going on a long term medication though, I wouldn't take anything on a daily basis, no matter what is was.