Woke Up At 2--Go! Number 2!

I woke up this morning at 2 a.m. and it was a few minutes past when I looked at the alarm. Went back to sleep and woke sometime at 3 and then at 4. I think I woke 2-3 times.

I had "Mad About You" in my head when I got up but I heard this song last night while getting some Thomas the Train books for my son, "Healing Hands" by Citizen Cope, so listening to that song first thing. I thought about the line "just left Jackie O for Marilyn Monroe" and thought about that for a split second, about what would that have been like, back then...The idea. This song reminds me of Tracy Chapman, his voice or phrasing or both I guess. Just looked up the lyrics and I guess it's alluding to turning a recorder on and monitoring how she was left for M.M. I guess. Anyway, I always wonder about the rare times people buck tradition and what society dictates and the only big example I can think of is Edwards abdication. I guess one more thing I'll self report, in case someone was trying to get me to do this...on the same day I went to look at the apartment that had "Wallis" on the door, I saw a flyer in the tourist flyers on a wall, and one was for "Wallace" and I saw it with the others for several days but THAT day in particular, after saying I was going to see the place, I literally had to fight an impulse to pick out the Wallace flyer and lay it face up on a table in the dining room. haha! and that would have been really crazy in the sense that the next thing I would have done was see the Wallis sign and I'm sure everyone would have found out I put the other Wallace thing on the table. It was one of those things where I feel like doing something and then I find out for myself, the weird coincidence. So I wonder if that's a form of precognition? Somehow I know people are joking about the idea of having "Wallis" on the door and I somehow pick that up and want to play my own joke? I don't know. It must be some kind of precognition. It was on Saturday I think.

I think what I'm really feeling like is Cat Woman. And last night I saw some dance performance and at the end, a woman in a Cat Woman suit jumps in and starts doing flips. I started thinking..."Hey!...Yeeaaaaahhhh....that's RIGHT! and all these CATS are always around her!" Just kidding, kind of.

I can't remember having any dreams at all. Slept well, just woke a couple times and fell back asleep no problem. Didn't feel the sadness as much this morning. I really think it must be about my son. I was thinking that about the time it lifted last night, maybe he was tucked into bed. But I don't know.

I'm bringing the eggs for making plants inside the eggshells and because I couldn't get to the library to get the big Thomas book as I promised, I didn't want to break my promise so I made up for it by buying a bunch of books that are Thomas books and then I'm going to return them all but let him keep maybe one. My receipt says I saved $2.22. "You Saved $2.22." Hmmm. If I have a chance, later I'll put a copy of a photo up to prove it. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. 2? 2. I feel like I've been hypnotized too. I had 2 packs of oatmeal this morning and I keep buying hamburgers in 2's. And seriously, for awhile I was getting a lot of very random music videos with 4 featured, and then it was 5 for awhile and then all of a sudden, it's been 2s.

I am also bringing a surprise for him--my son.

Well, maybe not quite yet. I found out this morning that I need to check on a few things first and ask him some questions.

Harassment already this morning. Some dark long haired woman with nerd glasses in a van gawking and mocking.

I do not look cute right now. I am not even wearing things I would ever wear in public. I got stuck with 2 shirts (a tank top and a tee) and NO sweater and have been using one of my SON's sweaters as a little crop jacket and it doesn't match. It looks terrible. I know. So for out of towners, if this is me, I am the real bona fide ugly "What does he see in her?" thing. But most people here know I'm camped out basically and for the out of towners, I have worn the same clothes and one pair of jeans for an entire week and I feel "too sexy for words". It's not what you wear and it's not what "breed" one is, but having confidence that you have got something, no matter who you are, that no one else has. That song "I'm too sexy for my shirt..." came to mind. But if I felt so absolutely confident I would not have to write that this is not really what I would choose to wear...so yes, I have a slightly normal sense of dignity and pride too...I DON'T want people to think that this is my fashion sense because it does look terrible.