Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Dream Last Night & Moon & Impressions

I asked God last night when it is okay to share something that I think is sort of amazing, even if it's a small thing, and when not to share. Things that seem to be supernatural or spiritual. I don't know if I am supposed to always keep it to myself or to share some of these things, to encourage others about what God can do. I am aware of grave mistakes I've made in saying too much at times, about things which have stirred up jealousy or resentment or distate for me, without my knowing. I don't have dreams about people bowing down to me, so rest assured. But if it is something that God answers, do people still assume I think I'm "special"? or are they understanding enough to think it is God and not about me or how special or not-special I am.

I don't know why in the world God sometimes answers me with astounding things, but then all these people are allowed to hold my son hostage, medicate and abuse me on a daily basis, and refuse to investigate crime. The only thing I can think of is that sometimes God can work with things where humans do not have control over it. People try to manipulate and control relationships, for better or worse. People try to manipulate and control politics. They try to manipulate and control legal matters. Even the weather can be manipulated so I'm not unreasonable.

But, for example, when I prayed and asked God if it was about Oliver, I got an answer. When I prayed and asked for something about Obama, I saw Obama's femur. And sometimes when I pray about the weather, I get what I ask for. Other things seem to be rebounding blessings, such as praying to God that people will be inspired and there will be another renaissance with beautiful things made to glorify God, and then the next thing I know, I am being directed to be filled up and inspired with beautiful things that have already been created, which helps me to marvel at the talents God has given others.

I am deciding to write about this small thing from yesterday. I was sitting at the Krispy Kreme having a donut and tea before going to work. I looked outside and it was clouded over and I felt thankful for some things and said, "God, could you do something cool with the sky for me?"

This was after being harassed all morning while trying to get through to the Pentagon General Counsel and having spent 40 minutes as each and every call was dropped and disconnected. I finally burst into tears.

So I decided to be more specific and said, "Maybe just more sun for now, but I would like to see some kind of opening in the middle of the sky, of a hole or something where the sun is coming through, or whatever you want."

And then right away the sun started to come out and was shining across my table. It looked pretty normal though and I kept looking for some opening in the sky that stood out. It didn't happen then but then it happened later that night after I had forgotten about my request.

I was going to take the bus after working late and it was dark and then I ended up walking. As I walked, and it was dark out, I finally, at one point, looked over and up at the sky. It had been just a solid dark cloud but then as I looked, there was this hole in the mass of cloud. The entire sky from one end to the other, was dark cloud and then there was this small little opening and then the hole moved across the moon, and after I saw this, it closed up again. It was exactly what I had imagined and what I had asked God to see. Except instead of being during the day, with the sun, it was at night, with the moon. And it was this gorgeous and mysterious, beautiful thing with this opening and then a thin veil stretching across the moon and then closing up. So it made me thankful and I watched and the sky continued to be dark clouds for the rest of 20 minutes or more and it didn't do this again. It wasn't some one-of-a-kind phenomenon, but it was so like what I had asked for, that I recognized it and felt thankful and happy to see this, just as happy as I am to see or smell good flowers or see something beautiful in nature and say "thank you God" for creating these things that lift my spirit.

I saw it as I had passed 20th and church, and decided not to wait for the bus there but walk instead to enjoy the night air and I'm not sure why. But I passed the bus station walking and then I saw it. Later, I missed a different bus connection and I wasn't happy about it at all.

I saw this sky thing after some coworkers had harassed me during work too, I mean, seriously, so it was just a nice small thing to notice.
Suddenly my internet is spacing right again. But I looked at the html and it's still not correct. It's different. It's supposed to have opening and ending stuff, and all it is is "div" stuff. But at least the spacing is right again.
My dream wasn't probably a godsend. It was probably just my mixed up ideas and random and maybe other ideas too. I had it right before I woke and I don't remember the whole thing but all I remember was that someone, a coworker, had dropped me off at some outdoor market and I stopped in front of the earrings. I didn't like any of them really, and in real life, I don't wear earrings. I would, but I am not in a position to match them up the way I would want to, or store them. In the past, I had small pearls, or gold studs, or studs of kinds, drop pearl earrings (for dances) and a few other classic styles with a few bohemian style pieces.

But I didn't like anything and then I saw these small studs and thought, "I like these more than the other ones" and I picked them out and they were on a card, like regular store-bought cheap (moderately cheap) earrings. When I picked them up I didn't know what color they were, in my dream, but then as I held them closer I saw they were dark blue. In my dream, I thought, "Oh no, are these sapphires?" because, in the dream, I was concerned it would cause people to think I was trying to replicate something or trying to put myself into an imaginary spot. And then I turned the card over and read the back, and discovered they were not sapphires. I looked more closely and saw they were not quite as bright of a blue, and they were more navy blue. They were very small, like the smallest size stud you can get, and on the back there was a description but it wasn't of the kind of stone it was. I don't remember what stone it was supposed to be but it said "sagittareous" like, for the star sign. And I am not big into astrology at all. In Wenatchee I looked at it a little, to know what it is so I'm not uninformed and because I was so bored, but I don't think this dream is maybe something ungodly but there might be a dual meaning or something. And I looked closer and saw they were not the sapphires and started thinking, "What stone is associated with sagitareous?" (msp) or started wondering what the name was, of the dark navy or midnight blue gem. I held them up to my face. Then I moved to the other side of the rack and I was looking at other ones and saw some other dark blue ones and then decided they looked punk and I didn't like them for earrings and then I held up pink zircons wondering if a brighter color would look good against my face but they were garish and I suddenly looked at myself with these ones and my hair was in 2 pigtails and messy and frizzy and fluffy and I looked cheap altogether and thought, "I look horrible!" and then put them back and I didn't buy any of them and then went to shoes because I was wearing shorts and a t-shirt and wanted plain and simple flip flops. I couldn't find any. There were all kinds of shoes and sandals and I didn't like any of them. One flip flop, was sticking out all by itself and I tried to find the section and there wasn't one. It was just 1 random one and no more flip flops. So I didn't buy shoes either. And then I wondered where this coworker was because I was ready to be picked up. I think the dream is sort of a mixed one bc I saw the flip flop the other day in the middle of the road and somehow it got into my dream, so I think it doesn't really mean anything.

I guess if the dream means anything, it is that I am selective? I don't know. I don't know at all.

Where the star sign came in I have no clue bc I wasn't reading or talking to anyone about any of that kind of thing. It might represent something, I don't know.

I tried looking up an image of the dark blue gem and it matches the one I found on "Gemhut" website index, for "Blue Spinel" but maybe a touch darker or more midnight. In the dream, too, it was known to me somehow that they were not sapphires but something else. But for some reason, the description on the back was the star sign Sagitareous.

No comments: