weird yesterday (and torture) & hello queen E

There was pretty bad assault and people who were just not good all day. I wasn't in a bad mood and was happy to be shopping for my son. I had wanted to have new shoes mailed to him before Easter Sunday, but they're coming a little late (which is fine because he will still get them). I also got a few toys. In general, I sensed there was a lot of evil in the area yesterday but I also felt an overriding peace. Even when I was being tortured with NLW, I still felt there was someone there or some persons who were trying to do good and that was why it was doubly bad and there was this much assault. It only happened when I was in 2 stores yesterday, at night. It happened at the Toys r-Us and at this bookstore I went to next. When I was outside walking to a new place or waiting at the bus stop, no one was doing a thing. But there was serious use of military or other NLW all night last night. Actually, earlier in the day on the bus too. It was never happening when I was outside. Not once. There was such a bad set of people out and about and following yesterday. And some of the good people looked down.

Then I found out my mother was sick when I was talking to her on the bus. My son was also not talking normally that morning when I was able to speak with him for a short time. And he was jubilant last time. This time he was monotone and repeated everything back but one thing he said on his own, over and over, was "I want to see you." And he was the one who said he wanted to talk to me when he found out I was talking to my aunt. There is nothing CPS or criminals can do to break the bond I have with my son. They've pretty much already done it all. And why in the world they have gotten away with this is beyond me.

So I was talking to my mom on the phone and then my minutes ran out and I wanted to know how she was and where she had had something to eat in case something happened. She said why do you want to know? and I said, "Because I will be faithful..." and I got off as I continued "...to make sure someone knows where you were and what you had if anything happened to you". And then after we were disconnected, I got this impression of retching about 10 or 15 minutes or so later. It was at about 10:30-10:45 and I think I had gotten off the bus early to make sure I could get a new card and find out how she was, and I had this very distinct impression of retching and the way it happened and everything. So I asked my mom today, "Did you throw up last night?" and she said yes, and I said, "How soon after we were talking did you throw up?" and she said, "Pretty soon after". It was at the same time I guess. And then I didn't think she was throwing up today at all and when I asked she said no, she hadn't.

Last night was very strange because in the morning I saw Queen Elizabeth with the maundy dress, a particular color of turquoise and teal, almost a vivid crossover. And just a clip for a moment and then I was at Toy-R-Us and I asked about gift wrapping and this woman showed me options and there were 2, one babies and pink and the other was the exact same color of Q.E.'s dress. Precisely.

So no big deal. But then, my son had told me all about this book he loved, a children's version of "The Invisible Man". I thought about getting him invisible ink bc of it, or something, but then decided someone should just show him how to write messages with lemon juice and then hold it over the toaster to reveal the message.

I went to the bookstore after the toy store and I asked for the book The Invisible Man. All they had was the adult version. So I had it in my hand and then I walked over to this fruit section where the games were pieces of wood with letters inside fruit. I looked at the other section where there were other games and then for some reason, I sat down on the floor. I set my book down to my left, The Invisible Man, next to this game called "kids' sequel" and then got a closer look at the children's game called The Invisible Labryinth" or something, because I had earlier been looking at maze books for my son. So I was sitting on the floor and I pulled out this game, which is made in Germany. After being tortured all night, seriously, and even there, I read this line on the back that said, "The magnets are firmly within the pawns" and it crossed my mind about what has been happening to me. Then I took off the plastic wrap bc I was curious to see the inside of the game and if it was something my son would like, and on the inside it was Q.E's dress again, and a bunch of tokens that looked like coins. Little circular pieces throughout the board. I lifted up the board and looked at the game. Suddenly, I had the strangest feeling. I don't know how to describe it except that I figured I was either loved by God very much or being manipulated by spells and other forces. I didn't know what was going on. So I sat there and looked at that game and then looked at the book, where I had set it. And something told me to turn around and look. I was sitting facing the games, with my left leg bent and going back at an angle and then my right leg bent with my foot placed on the inside of my left thigh. This is how I was sitting, so it wasn't like I was standing and felt eyes on the back of me or anything. But I sat there, looking at those coin shapes and having had a brief thought about Q. E. and what was going on, and I turned and looked and it was the English flag. It was the flag of Britain and it was the weirdest string of random events. Not only that, it wasn't even like I was standing up in this store and I happened to turn and there was a flag on a wall or something. The flag was at my level. Because of the way I was sitting, with my legs sort of going to the left, I couldn't even turn that far to the right to look but when I did, it was this enormous English flag. And I guess I had this intake of breath because it was so weird.

I then got up and went to the register and when I looked again I saw it was some display from a book about Kate and William but that's not what i saw when I first turned. I only saw the flag and nothing else and I didn't know what it was for. It was sort of like the rest didn't even matter or wasn't relevant. It was something to do with the way the other things happened. It was just so odd.

And then today even, something weird happened. I had someone call me "Rachel" the other day after we had coffee. I wouldn't turn to Rachel but I did bc I recognized the voice and waved. I waved back at her. And then I read in the Bible, to refresh my memory, about who Rachel was and how she drew water from a well.

So then I was going to drop off a package at the UPS store today, which I did, and I always have my hair securely affixed in a bun on my head or back of my head, or up in some way. The package was huge and I was carrying this enormous package and as I walked torwards the store, my hair came undone and fell down. I felt embarressed and hated that this happened, bc my hair looks awful down when it's not curled and even sometimes when it's curled, without styling things and I couldn't get into my locker last night so I didn't have my curlers to sleep in. So then I was feeling so unattractive and embarressed but also happy and fixed on shipping a package to my son, and then I walked in the door and right at the door was a large statue of a woman with a large jug on her shoulders, and her hair down. It reminded me of Rachel. It's not a big deal but I still wondered why it was there. I looked on the way out and it's not usually there. Someone had left it there and it was 4 feet tall. When I got to the counter and put down the package, I knotted up my hair again.

I really couldn't tell you what any of it is supposed to mean at all, but I am more than ever feeling practical and that even when things happen like this or there are coincidences, to just stay fixed on what is present and real and happening in my immediate life.

And I do want to know what I was medicated with last and I want my son back and all these things.

I guess if something interesting happens and it's after I prayed, I feel it must be God. When I am not exactly in control, it's harder to know what the point is and if someone is trying to work for or against you in a supernatural realm kind of sense.

I felt there was something meaningful, possibly, about last night, but at the same time, I was being tortured and then found out my mother was sick so it is not all fun and games.