impressions & Panetta discovery

I had to wait to get on a computer again, and sat in the sun by the window and closed my eyes and let the song "You Raise Me Up" come to mind and as I heard the song in my mind, replaying it from memory, I saw a man swimming laps. It was at 11:33 a.m. that I saw it. I don't know who it was but I saw him from the side as he was in the water and coming up for air and his arm going over his head. Freestyle stroke. His arm was fairly muscular or lean and long so it gave me the impression that he was maybe average to average tall or tall. He was white and I don't know what color of hair. I think blond or some variation of blond or light brown but I don't know why I'd think this exactly. I was only into the second or third sentence when I saw it. "When I am down/and oh my soul so weary...when troubles come/and my heart burdened be....then I am still, and wait here in the silence...(about the time I saw this man swimming). I stopped before thinking of the rest of the song and noted the time and it was 11:33 a.m. my time. It seemed to be light. It wasn't a dark room but what pool, I guess, is in a dark room anyway. But it was very light or bright. I saw him as if he was in front of me and swimming to my left and had turned his body to take a breath facing me. Earlier this morning I had just normal thoughts wandering I think and I didn't feel any of it was directly connected to my prayer or anything. I prayed for the First Family in the U.S. and when I got to them and the girls I only saw chicks or some kind of bird pecking at the ground. I sort of thought they were white birds but I don't know what kind of white bird. So I thought, it's just random or something to do with chicks or Easter or pigeons or doves around. I thought I saw a vase but figured it was my imagination. One with sort of handles or a design on both sides but I think it was my mind imagining things only. At one point, at a different point in prayer, I saw hands come into a kind of circle and then it looked like working at the pottery wheel. But this was in general and I don't remember who I was praying for at that point. I had the ideas (not images or impressions) of a very large loom of some kind and then I thought it was a harp but decided it was a loom because it was too large but who works on a loom these days? or was it a harp lying down? (this is not having to do with the Baraks). I had an idea that someone had seen 2 dead black birds recently and it was significant in some way to them. I didn't really get anything but this time I was praying not just to pray but to see if something came to mind and nothing really did. I finally asked to see something that maybe a person would know it was of them but no one else would know, and about anyone in the world, no matter who they were, status, position, or rank and then I had the idea of a white cot. I think it was a white cot close to the ground and that was the idea but nothing seemed "on" like it sometimes is, when I'm not even expecting it. I didn't necessarily see it associated with pain but that was my next idea. My first idea was just a white cot and then the next idea, which was maybe my own forced idea, was that someone was just lying on it relaxing. The only other thing I got was when I started praying about Leon Panetta and wanted to see something and nothing came to mind. I thought at first that I saw some kind of steel metal and there were holes in it, like two long or large planks of steel and I looked up and there were rows of holes in it (there by design). Then I thought I saw some kind of metal spires sticking up, and thought at first it was a pocketknife with metal parts projected. It was like straight metal sticks sticking up. And I thought something about gout which didn't seem right. But then, after I read my mother's email and went to the website for this church Grace Center, I saw 2 of the designs I had seen while praying. Maybe it was this, because on the site there is a changing photo display and on one, a large grey sheet of metal with holes in it, like I saw. And then there was a photo of a steel fork with the metal prongs sticking straight up. So possibly I saw what someone (Panetta? or someone else?) was viewing when they went to this site. By the way, I want my son back. I don't know if I have ever said that before. Return my son. Oh my gosh. I have found more online about Panetta. There is a clear conflict of interest. Not only is Panetta former Army, having spent 27 years in the Army and with great interest in their "Special Services" unit, he served on the Board of Directors for the Catholic Sex Abuse scandals, and was there since 2002, which is when I first filed my lawsuits. He knew about me before he was ever nominated to be head of the CIA. If he was on their main Board of Directors, in 2002, and then the Archdiocese of Portland in Oregon was the FIRST national case to go to Bankrupty (it was done to see how it might work out for other cases), he knew who I was. I was in this case and the only Pro Se person who was keeping up with things among all the licensed lawyers. Not only that, he is and was living in California which is where Dick Whittemore spent over half of the year. OH my gosh. If I am correct, not only Leon Panetta but Whittemore had an interest in marine preservation as well and there may have been more than just a legal or religious affiliation. My torture began at the start of the 2nd term for Bush Jr., wait, Clintonand I remember the day because this short Italian man came up to me and asked me a lot of questions and I later found out this was when Leon Panetta started getting into the higher offices with the U.S. But he was from California. I am finding a very clear Army-CIA-Catholic church-and torture of me and my son link. Supposedly, Panetta is against torture but that's not true when Al-Quada people are waterboarded in Cuba. Not only that, I read that under Obama, more Pakistani's or Al-Quaida people have been killed than ever. Under Panetta's direction. So it's not really like he's soft-hearted. The CPS director for legal in Washington D.C. was some Italian guy. I kept finding, under the surface, Italians and not all of them are bad of course! Of course not. But some of them are linked up to, and have knowledge of what has been going on with me and my son. And Panetta knows. Leon Panetta hated me before he ever worked for the CIA and then others who hated me for dragging out the lawsuits, have tried to get their revenge through him and some others, ever since. You prove me wrong. No wonder my enemies have been triumphing over me. NO wonder. I would put money on a bet that Panetta and Dick Whittemore know eachother. Guess who else Dick Whittemore knows? He knows Karin's family, whose Dad or brother or whatever is head of NY FBI. Panetta gave the Army and others clearance to attack me and my son. To use us for research and claim it was important, and hope I never figured out who was behind pushing me down to this degree, all in the name of trying to vindicate the Abbey lawyers and church and to discredit me. I can line the whole thing up. Not that others didn't get involved for their own reasons later, but THIS is why some have said matters look grim. My so-called friend Christa Scheider one time told me I had no idea who I was dealing with. I guess I didn't. Then. And Christa somehow knew Karin which she only could have known through her friend whose Mom was best friends with Whittemore. Whittemore spent half the year in California, where I believe he was raised, and then half of it in Oregon. The Bullivant firm had a branch in California. Panetta's profession is law. He went to Santa Clara law university, in California. He served under Bill Clinton and then became director of the CIA in 2009, which is when my fate and the fate of my son were probably deemed to be done with and sealed. And I think about how many horrific things happened to me after 2009 too--all of the false arrests and slander and no one helping me/ being blocked and defamed by the FBI personnel in different departments. OH MY gosh. I did NOT expect to go on this tangent today but the CIA, FBI, and the Army have some very serious matters to account for. And there have been others involved, who knew I was screwed because of knowing already how this was set up in hierarchy and who was involved. And if Mueller is Episcopalian which is supposed to be "in communion" with Catholism, then the director of the FBI and the director of the CIA are in communion, possibly, with eachother, and I might add, in more than one way. I guess God wanted me to wait for a reason. There is still more to learn. When I was being driven to the mental health place, without cause, I sat up and looked at who was around and interested. And...there is so much more that is going to be uncovered. This is why Panetta got freaked out and went over to India and tried to buy their loyalty and allegiance by offering a trade deal worth billions. And then, after thinking of all these different connections, I'm "the problem" with regard to my last lawyer, Tanesha Canzater, who is based in D.C. and in WA too and who went to a Benedictine college. Her language throughout her emails to me was straight-up-Bullivant. These people have tried to line me up with one after another of their comrades, in order to keep themselves in the clear. I want my son back and there is no reason for delay. I stay at a shelter where I have been reduced to staying after so many have lied about me and stolen everything I own. There are women there who have their children. There is absolutely NO reason not to return my son to me, irregardless of where I live or work. My son was illegally kidnapped and the CPS case is a fraud to cover for that original crime. ***************************** At any rate, now I know why my enemies have felt secure in getting away with what they've done. The guys at the top would ensure they had the right middle-men in place to block me from getting to anyone who would clear my name. And they could even employ gangsters and feel these people would not be caught. Even a few from other groups have taken advantage of my circumstances, as some Jewish have done more than their share in harming me and my son. Or, in their minds, harming me but not harming my son. As if it doesn't harm him to be without his mother and be victimized. What I haven't been able to figure out, is why this Jewish psychiatrist from WA was so interested in dating me and being with me, who knows the second top CIA guy, but then backed out on helping me find a psychiatrist to clear my name when I was back in Seattle without Alvaro. The one who also dated some diplomat's daughter. I mean, I'm good enough to kiss, but not good enough to help clear her good name so she has credibility in making reports. Who IS the second top CIA person anyway? ************************************************************************************ I guess the only other thing I could mention is that when I was praying I listed or named all the countries to pray for and I said a one-liner for all of them and then I don't know when this shooting of the kids happened in Brazil, but earlier this morning, I had Brazil come to my mind and it popped into mind more than the other countries. Brazil. And then I went on to other countries. Then: BRAZIL. So okay, I already listed Brazil. Moving on now...BRAZIL. What is the deal with Brazil? (I don't like to even THINK about Brazil, not because of Brazil or that it's Brazil's fault but because I cannot stand this woman Mykal Holt who is connected to Brazil.) So, I wasn't praying for Brazil of my own accord really, but maybe God knew some of the families there would need prayer for their kids. It came up as I prayed, not specific things, but just including them like, "And please bless and help: and then I named all the countries but Brazil kept coming up to the point that I stopped to think about it and then ignored it. ************************************************************************************ I just looked up the CIA site. In their photo thing there is also something is like a sheet and has holes for a building but the one on the Grace Center looks more like what I saw. Also, I saw the CIA emblem again, with the spiky spires around in the center and thought, since I saw real metal but sort of arranged in spikes (so I thought fork as on Grace site), maybe Panetta also has some kind of object that has spikes you can actually touch, or there is something like that at the offices. I just tried to find the second top guy. I guess that is supposed to be Michael Morell aka Mushroom Man. No, it looks like Steve Kappes was the #2 man and then Michael Morell came in, in April 14, 2010.