Dark Circles With My Son & I & Psychiatric Evaluation Considerations

For whatever reason, I have these dark circles I never had before, until I came back to Wenatchee. My son has them too and they won't go away. They looked better for some reason, at the last visit or one before maybe, but both he and I developed dark circles. I can't get rid of mine.

I have definitely gone downhill but I guess beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, and what I've been through since being back in this area, has been no small thing. I feel stronger on the inside at least.

My energy flow is just beginning to feel sort of normal. I have taken food from different people and really do not know what I've had all put together. I just know my usual flow has been tampered with off and on in various ways, and made it very hard for me to get things together and done.

I am seriously thinking about this visit to the psychiatrist. If I choose not to go, or want to go to someone else (as the state said I could), I just wonder if I might not tackle everything in termination trial when I get to bring everything out.

Because I feel it is dangerous for me to have my reputation tampered with, when I have NOT been diagnosed with any disorder, and then go see a psychiatrist when I never had a proper evaluation with a psychologist to begin with.

My last lawyer, who was obviously dirty and very bad, did everything he could to keep this from happening. He didn't want my name to be cleared and he didn't want me going to some family psychologist or anyone independent at all.

So I am still thinking. Right now, at this moment, I have a lot of lies on paper which I can actually correct.

And I do NOT have a "diagnosis".

If I go to this psychiatrist and he tries to give me a diagnosis, it will be much harder to work with that, and is potentially the last nail in the coffin of my reputation and in this case.

If I do NOT go to him, people can say what they want, but if I am directly slandered when there is no diagnosis, it's defamation. Not only that, it is probably defamation already, that I could sue over, if I had just a little more money and a good psychologist to review everything and back me up.

I could lose my son but completely save my reputation for the future and have major lawsuits against government organizations.

I might not lose my son either. I can appeal and appeal and continue to appeal.

Oh I am not dumb, which is why some people want me on medications to slow me down in the first place. Or make me "happy!" and slow.

At this point, when I have ZERO evidence of the AG or any public defender or state worker trying to honestly reunite my son and I, and only taking an inch and making a mile out of it, well, what guarantee do I have that going to THEIR psych eval will do any good at all?

They have already made it clear they want to take, not give. They do not respect my son's rights, nor do they respect mine.

They have given zero good faith assurance that they would do anything other than get a bad diagnosis to try to back THEM up and then terminate rights anyway.

So they would have whatever they want, on their terms, no matter how unethical and illegal this whole case has been.

I'm looking at 2 options:

1. Lose my son after being diagnosed as nuts.
2. Lose my son and go on to obtain an evaluation that clears me and then sue the shit out of a lot of people.