Negative Vibe

I definitely feel negative and sad energy but part of it is thinking about the things which have happened.

I guess what it came down to, is that it seemed my problems were in one area and then a few decided to help (or not, I don't know and don't know for what purpose) and then when I didn't just go along, I was then stripped of each and every right my son and I had, and great amounts of influence was leveraged to punish me and keep my son and I apart.

In addition, then others were allowed to harm my son who my son had had some protection from for awhile.

I think to myself people were helping, but if so, why was I being set up? and then if my son and I were ever cared for or loved, why were we turned on and left to wolves. And really, I don't actually mind medication maybe, if it's to help, but only if I'm informed about it first. Because otherwise, it alters my body and thinking and I have no way of knowing why or how it might affect my ability or drive to get things done or be "myself". If it was just to help, that's good and I don't have a problem with that and I would say thank you, but what my concern is, is that the things which have happened to me have not allowed me any kind of normal course to try to advocate for myself or my son in any way. It might have been great, and easier, to have had things work out which didn't, but the problem was that I was being humiliated on the side and I also noticed people in the periphery and didn't know what their motives were.

Why the clamor.

And why, would I be treated like a normal human being and even treated well, if I was with someone in particular but if I wasn't, I was no better than garbage trash and then people saw to it that my son and I were kicked around besides. That part, what others do, is not the fault of one person perhaps but others who wished to exert a force and pressure over me.

Hmmm. Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds--I can say I did not have a lot of real warmth and love from some of these people who BACKED out in any way possible, from being good and decent and respecting my rights and the rights of my son.