This Morning & Dream

I don't know why I curled my hair because it's pouring rain.

I woke up with a negative feeling this morning. Sad vibe. Or kind of down. I woke up really early after having a dream. I tried to remember all of it but all I could remember was that I was with my son and trying to get him back and my mom was saying not right now and I was so upset I was trying to pull her away and my son was being buckled into a carseat. He had some kind of bump mark on his forehead.

I was trying to desperately find something I could do to raise money to fight this and there was this diving equipment and I didn't know if I was going to be an underwater diver or, I said, I was going to teach Eton students. But in the dream I was going to be an elementary school teacher for students at Eton and some other British school.

Then I woke up, and had a sad feeling but I didn't get out of bed. Just laid there for a few more hours and then got up about 6 or so.

I think I have to erase or put some things into hiding. I just feel a sadness or like maybe I'm a wench for making any opinion about some things. Strange enough, I feel better having put it offline into draft form.

I'm so tired this morning. It looked like a few other people were tired too, on the news. Just some, like they haven't had any sleep. I'm really tired myself.

Listened to Kim Carnes "Bette Davis Eyes" this morning. Sinead O'Connor "Nothing Compares 2 U" and then found a new one I haven't heard before, Kim Carnes "Invisible Hands." I like it. It's pretty simple but the sound quality is decent and a good get-going song. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LT1CDPz86CI&a=8dR_ZpbHlrM&playnext_from=ML

I tried to play this again and it won't let me. So I hope no one I know is in jail or that this is too close to home. The energy feels a little better though--I don't feel as much sadness. But something must be going on because it's been more noticeable lately--the vibe. I don't know what's going on. I just probably make sure no one is hurt or something. I don't know.
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Bad feeling is back. It is 7:30 a.m. my time. Something just doesn't feel right. So much sadness and it isn't me. It doesn't feel like my own "mood" but like I'm getting it from someone else. It's very strong, and very deep, but powerful in a very sad way. Like a heart is breaking sad. Then, I was trying to get a Margaret Becker song and instead of "Never For Nothing" I got "I Want To Be With You". I haven't heard this one before. But the sadness is very strong. I don't know if it's my son or what. Oh, I guess I was looking for "Find Me" and got this other one.

I just decided to play this I Want To Be With You song. Probably need uplifting music. The vibe is a little better--it's not bad in negative way just very sad or something.

I will see how my son is doing.