The Heart Worships (Gustav Holst) & Tibbie's Brig

I asked God for 2 things at some point.

"God, I need warmth and music."

So I went to a hotel I normally wouldn't go to and found both. It was significantly warmer and painted in yellow and warm colors. And there was a flash player for me to endure a dreadful night, at least, with music.

I thought about what to play and chose German. I went with German traditional and didn't care for it, not in the mood, and then I went to German folk songs and the first one I liked the piano on immediately. It is "The Heart Worships" by Gustav with Christopher Maltman on "English Song." I heard the first few bars and thought, "This is like something I would write."

First, whoever was selecting music kept putting on Mary and madonna songs. I mean, every single one. And I didn't ask for that. I just wanted a variety of traditional folk type songs or classical from the German category.

Isn't it sad that I have been so degraded that I even have to ask God for "warmth" and "music"? I am reflecting on my mother tonight and again, suddenly realized she did not say what she really wanted to say. I got upset at one point and then later in the evening I realized, "Oh my gosh. It's happened again and I didn't even clue in." She is so convincing that I believed she believed what she was saying to me. And then a few hours later I realized I had been so wrong to be upset with her at all--she was saying what she felt she was coerced to say.

I have even gone back farther, and realized other things my parents said or promised and then retracted were not even in keeping with their own wishes.

I have to make mention of these songs because they're so beautiful:
Oblivion, Tango, by Piazzolla, Astor/Sonata for Cello and Piano, Op 66 by Charles Koechlin/13 Ways of Looking at a Bla...by Peggy Glanville-hicks/Andantino for Cello and Piano, O by Sir Lennox/Sonata for Violin and Piano, No. 6 by Nikolai Roslavets.

This last one I almost skipped past and then I waited and it made me think of paper airplanes. The way they could shoot into the sky with a push and then lilt and rock or sway back to ground. It's not exactly a leaf bc it's too heavy for leaves. But something soaring and then falling in a rocking motion. It's russian tea cakes on a silver round plate in a small high-ceilinged parlor with people gathered around and the duo playing for a private group. The violinist's back to the fireplace with the mantle. Intimate. This next one is children running around and playing and I see it in dream-mist-memories. Sonata for Cello and Piano No. 1 in D by Gabriel Faure. I see the children as under the music as contrast to the tone. They are toddlers and oblivious to the maturity and sharper edges of regret or pain. I saw them running ahead in front of me and only their backs as they chased eachother. Hardwood or hard floor. How strange. I looked up Faure and read he had 2 boys. I was seeing toddler boys. 2. One was right in front of the other and they were playing and I saw them almost at the start of the song and then felt this feeling of this is sentimental and wanting to cry almost (but I didn't). I read halfway down on the wiki and then looked at the date of the sonata. His kids were born in the very late 1800s and the song was written in 1917 so I'm not sure whose kids they were--maybe just imagination. But it felt very sentimental and memory-ladden. As if this was the past and I saw it again. ah, very cool. At the end of wiki it describes his style as one of synthesis of opposites which is maybe why I saw children playing under another umbrella.

Tenderly, Autumn Leaves by Rich de Rosa made me think of something to play at bedtime. At the end of the day. I liked "Love is a rose" (opera) by frank bridge. For being a calm song...I can't write about it bc I was writing about the other ones. Then there is now the opposite of calm, a windy song. Quintet for piano and strings by walter piston. This one makes me think of the legend of sleepy hollow and cold winds. The next one I closed my eyes to and saw a candle flickering in a small breeze at nighttime. It is Elegie for cello and piano or orchestra and then later someone gaping in sobs. Sort of gulping sobs. A woman. Gabriel Faure and it's played on Jaqueline du Pre's "A Lasting Inspiration"...I didn't focus in the rest of the song but at the very end, the very end, curling of the curtains blown by the breeze.

With the next one I guess I saw something like rowing with both arms out and then in, at the start of the singing, across a lake. Stabat Mater for soprano and strings by Virgil Thomson. I like "taivas on sininen" (finnish)...by san fran girls choir. I felt good energy while listening to William Walton which is probably why I didn't click past it right away. At first I really didn't like it and thought it was plodding but then it sort of took a few turns and became a little more interesting. Piano Quartet in D minor. one woman grabbing or clutching the shoulder of another woman who is sitting as if to say, did you hear that or see that. Blouses, not sweaters. Thin material, one looking over the shoulder of the other. Very strong energy at 2:48 p.m. Liked Gnossienes for piano (6) by Erik Satie.

hanging up shirts or picking out a shirt and putting it back. Short sleeved men's shirts, like oxford shirts but short sleeve. With collar and buttons down front, in a closet, in daylight or light, to "Vocalise, instrumental arrangment" by Rachman. Suite for Viola and piano by George McKay and very strong sense of praying and good energy. It's not technology. It's different (thank goodness). No impressions, just energy. For some reason, picking blueberries outside and putting them into a basket or container.

There was some song playing I liked but it got cut off. It was about "my bonnie dear" at the end and something like the name arnold and rogers and it was from an old english songs record. The woman had an operatic voice. I had a lot of impressions with it so I'm trying to find it. AHA! found it. Roger Quilter. I don't know what the song was but it kept up with verses or chorus that had a refrain of "my bonnie dear". When I first heard the notes, I saw something which I forgot and then a bridge, actually and a hill and a child running up the hill towards me saying "Mommy!" I was at the top of the hill and he was running up happy as I faced him and the bridge behind him I think. And then at the very beginning of the second stanzas or set of verses I think, I saw someone holding a white plate or dish inbetween two hands firmly, gripping the sides, but holding it in the center of her middle and firmly pushing it down to the ground where it shattered. Then I saw sort of a modern dance scene with someone dropping to the ground in the same way in a white airy and layered dress that gathered up around her when she slid to the ground in a sitting posture. It was large enough to be the size of a charger or something. I found the song. It was "ca' the yowes". I liked it a lot. I looked up the lyrics and it's about climbing around in the outdoors so I guess I wasn't far off.

I liked pieces (2) for piano and cello by rachman./peterisms, first set, cycle by peter warlock/concertino for flute (I liked for the drawn out note at the very end) by Sir Lennox on Schirmer. I have always liked summertime from porgy and bess but this one is very pretty by anne akiko meyers. Sonata for Cello and piano in c major by Benjamin Britten...I only caught the end bc I was away from desk but I liked a section where it was sort of twinkle, twinkle little star and then part mischeivous mice working up a flurry.

I looked up isabel pagan and the Garpel waters and the banks or hills look like the type I saw but I saw a bridge too, separately. small one. It is "Tibbies Brig". I looked up photos first and found a straight bridge that had white planks and it's over the Garpel but that wasn't what I got. I saw some kind of small bridge of stone or something and it had an arch over the water.

I'm fascinated I saw this. I put a link to a photo of the bridge likeness I got. I didn't settle for the first bridge I found, I kept looking, looking, until...ahhhh! there she is. I don't know why now, at 4:30 a.m. I suddenly felt this impulse to well up. It is probably from the violin playing now, to "Estrellita, concert metamorphosis F" by Manuel Ponce (a Mexican!) from Anahit Tsitsikian.

I have to mention the other songs before this one too. Hungarian Magyar by Zoltan Kodaly on Maria Kliegel/Sea Fever for voice and piano by John Ireland, Byrn Terfel/Beautiful, You, for voice and piano by Christopher renquist/then came Estrellita and then Bachianas Brasileiras No.5 on Bido Sayo. Not in love with that song.

I am looking at Tibbie's Brig and I swear I've found it before and maybe I even blogged about it? it is looking very familiar...Maybe I found it once before already. Oh well, rediscovered in new context. Oh Fair to See (opus 13) by Gerald Finzi I love for the dynamic brevity and ending note! It's like a note under the door. I have never heard the saxophone played this way before--it sounds as light as a flute. L'age D'or by Jaques Ibert on Jean-Marie Londeix. The end sounds like a lullaby "go to sleep". 4:44 a.m., someone holding a necklace at start of "Noch" (night) by Alexander Grechaninov sung by Georgine Resick for voice and piano. I think a woman and fingering the stones or beads or pearls, or feeling something about it with both hands. Older woman and not super skinny, I think. Robusque. Chansons Madecasses I like but I have to go.

After I came out of the office of the other hotel I went to, I had to sit by the window where cars passed by and I don't know what happened, someone here or someone somewhere else, but someone started up technology here. There was nothing earlier--no problem.

Need to go.