Monday, September 12, 2011

Lasered Face Again (mark on my cheek)

Someone lasered me again and I have a mark on my cheek from it. I wore my hair down today to cover the sides of my face.

It happened yesterday sometime or the day before but if it was the day before (on Saturday) I didn't notice it until this morning. I have a shape of a missile head on my right cheek.

Okay, and then my Dad says he can't see anything, or maybe it's from the way I was sleeping, and no it's not, and then he takes a bouy out of the car or something, or my Mom or someone put it there and it's the same shape as the mark on my face from a laser.

It happened about the same time I was writing about "Carole's skeeters" and thinking how this photo of a Carol Skeeters in my yearbook now makes sense. Goldsmith the blood sucker. I get a laser mark over it. I still have a mark from the laser burn on my forearm that made my skin blister. And still, these marks are nothing, NOTHING compared to the other things that have been done.

I sent an email to the law firm, asking why she refused to make a motion about the withheld evidence and she wrote back that it was "insufficient" or insignificant. The entire REPORT made against me by CPS was based on the "unsanitary conditions" of the house and how this is what necessitated his removal. It wasn't sufficient grounds to remove a child. But even then, they beefed it up and made this report a pack of lies, and then HID the photos that showed what the truth was, from my defense.

This was admitted to, on transcript.

This woman also lied. She flat-out lied and said I hung up on her, "according to my notes" she said. Well then, if we are going by her notes, and she lies in notes like that, she's a liar and has conflicts of interest all the way through the case. She's the one who didn't even bother to call me and just snuck in a case argument to the court, without my even SEEING it first. I couuld not believe it.

I remember my conversation with her and she was the one rushing to get off the phone. And she told me, in that conversation, that she refused to accept email correspondence when I told her I had no other way to correspond.

What kind of a law firm, has a CONFESSION, by the State, of withholding the only piece of evidence they had for my entire case for removal of my son, ignores this?

The entire report for removal of my child is based on the condition of my house. Later, in a hearing, Paul Casssell, who was a defender (but refused to get other records I told him would clear me), said, "All the state has is a claim of a messy house."

And then the state gets to LIE in their entire report, writing lie after lie about what an unsanitary dump my house was, and they grab photos but refuse to share these photos with the defense?

That's not only an admission of withholding evidence, it's obstruction of justice. For this law firm to refuse to put that into the appeal, and some of the forms of evidence that my defense lawyers were supposed to obtain, seems like obstruction of justice as well, or collusion.

They have the transcript in front of them (maybe more than one version) and there is grounds for an appeal based on withheld evidence, which I have the right to have.

I have more than one person wondering about cash one of my public defenders may have taken to screw me over, and then strange enough, the Koch firm tries to cover for him and make him sound better than he is. This was the lawyer that made a getaway to some "island" after representing me.

It's like Amy Roe and The Willamette Week was writing the briefs to the Appellate court. It sounds reasonable, but reeally, they're colluding to obstruct justice.

What kind of a "firm" doesn't even notify their client that they are the firm and have filed their entire appeal and made their argument...without them!

What kind of firm blocks any form of communication in order to keep me from getting in writing what they were doing earlier?

What kind of firm hides their attorney profiles from me, every single time I went to the law firm site, until just a few weeks before the final hearing? they had someone who runs their site, using my isp to block me from being able to find out who the lawyers were there until a few weeks ago, when I guess they didn't care anymore.

What kind of a "firm" hides evidence, when it's right there on the transcripts, that has the State ADMITTING to hiding materials that were crucial to my defense?

And that's just ONE of several forms of evidence.
It doesn't even matter that something interesting happened with some birds yesterday. Is that the excuse for torturing me and my son? And I told my Dad about it today and he said maybe I was near a nest. No, I wasn't. There was no nest. And there were no birds one minute and then the next minute, there were 4 birds all flying into the same spot. It wasn't high in the trees, or I wasn't standing next to a nest.

What happened, is that I tried to focus on worshipping God in my own space for the morning. And someone kept trying to ruin it and messed with my worship songs. I wanted to play "I Exhalt Thee" by maranatha singers, and someone kept stopping it, so many seconds into it. So I kept playing it, and had to restart it and I determined not to lose my temper and I didn't. I knew that's what they wanted. They wanted to take worship of God and frustrate it and ruin it because they know it's powerful. Some people don't like music bc it interferes with how they want to know what you're thinking, and others simply are afraid of someone putting time in with God, with worship, when worship has historically been a weapon of war. That's not why I was doing it, but God himself uses it for war. And he inhabits our praise of him. So for over 3-4 hours, this continued, with someone stopping my songs. And I just kept playing the same parts I could and resented the person for making it into an "om" since the only part they were playing was the same words over and over. I figured someone needs things "simple" because they have a harder time reading someone if they are both worshiping God in songs and praying as well.

I don't know. But I didn't get mad and I didn't blog. I just thought about how people who are prisoners have this happen all the time. Someone trying to ruin their worship of God.

And then I went out later in the day, that afternoon and I didn't feel like walking around for no reason but since someone has put all these stupid objects and spells all over the place, instead of going around looking for trash, I prayed, "God, if there is one thing I could do to break a spell or ruin something someone has tried to set up, help me to find it and do it. And I know you are greater than any spell or thing, but still, if I can get rid of something, show me." The prayer came to me as I was standing by some trees, before I got to the stream.

And then when I saw this golf ball by the bank, I walked over to get it and throw it out but I knew it wasn't the only thing. And it was there when I was admiring all of nature, bc that's the main reason I go out, not to look for things, but admire creation, but then I saw these mushrooms growing underneath trees and they were large and I wondered what the texture was so I tried to pull on one to see if it came off and then as I was crouched in the grass, moss, and trees, by the bank, I tapped on the underside with one knuckle. And then in a flood these birds flew in and it had been silent in the woods. Not a sound but crickets. Birds off in the distance but nothing noticeable and then all these birds flew into the thicket and started singing. And they were no further from me than the windshield in the car from my face. And then I was still, wondering if they saw me and then I noticed they did, and instead of flying away from me, they got closer. One just stayed in the same place, singing the whole time and looking right at me, ruffling its feathers. The others flitted around but all in close proximity. Like I said, when I was younger I used to sing outside or by the window and noticed birds sometimes singing with me or getting closer to sing with me. But maybe there was one (a robin I believe) that got very close before, and right next to me and sang, but this was the first time in a long time that it's happened. Later I thought about that rhyme, "4 and 20 blackbirds baked in a pie...when the pie was opened the birds began to sing..." because I later thought the mushrooms looked like pies. They were pie shaped.

There was no nest, they saw me, and I just watched for awhile and then moved on. I saw a few things in the woods, right after the birds, it was something turquoise-teal and I dug it up. And then I saw a mason jar or clear jar and I dumped the water out of it but left it there for some reason bc I thought maybe a kid was playing with it. I might dump it later, but I left it. I saw a bone that was like a round one and I saw a skull of a deer and didn't touch it. But I put the first bone I found, apart from the skull, I put into one pocket, and the ball into the other and took the turquoise pipe thing and then I threw all these things out.

And I explored to know the territory.

I was telling my Dad about the birds and then I started laughing when he told me about this time he dressed up for fiesta day as a Mexican and wore this bright outfit (with a poncho) and had his hair colored dark and put face paint on and he reeeaaaallly looked Mexican. And he was sitting outside having lunch with a friend and this bird flew over and landed on top of his head. And just sat there while his friend stared in shock. He said he thought maybe it had looked like a nest. So we laughed over this.

When I got home and read a little from the Bible, I noticed all the numbers on the page happened to be 4 but it doesn't matter. It was 41, 42, and then a page turned over and folded and it was 44, and in bold. It was from some other day.

And then I skipped around to different sections, 2, and the second one landed on a section in the Old Testament about 'clean birds' and 'unclean birds' and how to tell them apart. I thought, "What is a clean or unclean bird? which birds are considered to be good or bad and why?"

I just got it to look. It was placed on another day at Isaiah 38, 39, 40, 41 and then the corner folded over from 44 and folded there it also had the page number 400 displayed. I read some of this and I think something else, probably from NT but I don't remember and maybe just this for the night and then I ended up in Leviticus 20:25, "the distinction between clean and unclean birds."
I just went into the house and asked someone what they thought an "unclean bird" would be. Like, what is a bad bird or good bird...and I don't know why I didn't think of it myself, but they said maybe something that's eaten things that are dead. Like, a vulture, eating another bird or dead game or something. And then only fish with fins but not the other kind. Which I sort of knew about but I didn't even think about the vulture or carcass eating birds.

I told them I put a golf ball in one pocket and a round bone in the other and then took out a pipe and I threw them all away. I came across a full skull but I didn't touch it. They said, "What kind of skull" and I said, "I think it was a deer and it was just the head, and the whole thing was there...all the bones intact, and I didn't want to touch it." I said, "If I had seen the skull first, I probably wouldn't have picked up the other round bone but I saw it first and put it in my pocket to take out to the garbage."

I told about the birds and was told, "Maybe it was coincidence. They maybe had courage with 4 of them there." and I said, "No, I've had a bird sing next to me a long time before, but I don't remember 4 at once." and then they said, maybe it was courage. They said, sort of laughing, "So were you carrying a blanket with 4 squares like Snow White?" and I said no, and said, "I don't remember a blanket"...and they said, "a cape?" and I said, "No, I went out in a t-shirt and pants."

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