Thursday, September 8, 2011

Regent Ball 5

I feel like I am on a mind trip.

I stopped blogging and drinking licorice tea long enough to call a college and talk to someone about getting registered. So they asked what I wanted to do and the last thing I said was I liked too many things and was thinking of taking time to figure out what I want, to "structure a plan so it doesn't fall apart." I talked to one woman, then the assistant to the president, and then to another man.

Then I decided to walk around the property and I was thinking about my son and catching a frog. I caught a snake yesterday and kept hearing this frog in the distance so I thought I'd go out into the field and see what came up. So I stood there for a moment and I heard one frog in one direction but instead of going there, I went over to the stream. And I was just looking around at nature really. And I stopped and saw this little prickly ball thing with a maple leaf over it.

It's been balls this and balls that. So I was looking into the water at this ball with light prickles around it and there was a small maple leaf, newly fallen, lying across the top. And I looked up at the trees and found where these were coming from and just stared at the trees for a long time.

Then I was looking at the other side and nothing so I moved spots and as I stopped to look, I saw the number 5. Which I have been thinking of today. I had typed in "fourscore and fourty hours" and wondered what that was, divided by 24 hours and the number was 5. My son is 5 so I associate this with him. At least for right now. And it was tucked so far into the bank and under the fern I never saw it before. But I saw it, and pulled it out and it was a soccer ball. I bought my son a soccer ball when he was still in my care, and the doctors were amazed at how early he had learned to kick a ball. I was so proud of him. It was a soft, little soccer ball. And this one, I pulled out and it had the same colors on it that I had on my coat I picked out when I was in high school, for my first snow skiing trip.

It was a white jacket with teal and purple. This ball had teal and purple on it and I wondered what kind of ball it was, after noticing there was a spot at the top that had been pressed in. I thought it said "elegant" at first and then I wiped off the dirt and it said "Regent". I tossed it onto the lawn to look at later and then moved closer to the water and was just looking at rocks, and dirt, and snails and cobwebs and it was all so pretty in the sunlight and then after turning over a couple of rocks, I picked up a leaf that was lying in the sand. It had this small piece of wood lying across it and I picked them up together. And I don't know why I did this, but as I was holding this leaf that only had veins left, in a cobweb design, or filigree style, and with the water webbed onto it and shining and sparkling in the sun, I took the little piece of wood and stroked it across the leaf with my left hand for some reason. I held the leaf with my right and used the wood with the left. I meant to see what happened to the water as I did, but what shocked me was the texture. The texture of the leaf was like a mail suit or of very fine metal wires. It suddenly looked like the dress made out of silver that I saw on t.v., a silver mesh, but this wasn't silver, it was more coppery with the color of the leaf behind it. The little wood stick sort of would stick to the mess of the leaf, and it felt like finest fibers of metal. And the color of the water glistening when I did this, it was so pretty. And then I thought, as I continued to do this, it's like a harp. I looked over and as there were two cobwebs next to me shining in the sun and all of a sudden, bees. Friendly bees came by. Today one stopped by earlier and I had a look at it and it's wings lay one on top of the other and are rainbow irridescent. It's a thin bee.

And I remembered I am artistic. I always forget and then something reminds me of it. And I thought about how much I like nature and the beauty in small things like this. How I should take time more often to notice. And then I saw something in the sand and pulled it out and it was a piece of a shell and the color looked really pretty next to the copper leaf and the wood so I kept them.

Then, I heard the frog again, across the field and I was going to find it but decided to keep walking along the path I was on and only a few steps and one leaped across my foot. With a croak. And I put my hand next to where it was and then it hopped into the water and I looked at it because it didn't move. It was this little toad! While I was staring at the toad, I heard something in the bushes and looked up and it was deer right next to me. They were just a few feet away--the mother and twins and they didn't dart off but watched and then the toad hopped off and I went back to the ball which was heavy with waterlog or something. So I guess I rolled it over after seeing the impression at the top and thinking about what was done to my son's head at birth, and then near the side at the bottom I saw one of the sections coming off and underneath it looked like hair. What was weird, is that it was the same color and size of mass of hair that I had put onto my parents porch a few days ago with a note to not medicate me again.

So that was interesting. I thought, "I'll bet my head was squished in too, just like my son's head." And then I picked up the ball with my right hand and carried it to the section for inspection and then I took the leaf, wood piece, and shell into my house and put them on the table.

I thought the colors looked so nice together that they inspired me with ideas for decorating or painting.

Anyway, yeah, and I had thought in the last couple of days how I used to brush my mom's hair. I probably used either hand. My mom was sitting at the window and had her hand on her hair and I recalled this.

I have this weird feeling that someone kept papers from us, or took records of some kind, on both sides of my family. Like something is known by only a few, and others took pains to hide it.

I looked up harps and they mention bow harps in antiquity but it's like the mole...something is missing. I have a feeling that while so far the online stuff says nothing about a bow for the harp, I think there was. I don't think it was a cello or other instrument though these exist as well. I think there was a bow sometimes used on a harp. The online info says bow harp as a design and that the idea was from a bow and string, but maybe a harp was played with a bow at times as well.

I finally found something. I knew I wasn't looking for cello or anything. My idea was that despite reading one article after the other about harps, and nothing about a bow, I found a link that says the harp of Bible times was probably plucked OR played with a bow.


I think a bow was used on the ancient harp.

The feel of the leaf with the wood was like little fibers or the tug of something against, for example, a hair net. Not glamorous, but it didn't feel like a leaf at all which was weird and the way the water stayed caught inbetween the fibers is pretty cool. Anyway, I used the wood across horizontally and kind of vertically brushing down. Wonder how that sounds on a harp or lyre. With the leaf held upright or slightly angled and away from me, with my right hand and then taking the wood from left to right and angling down.

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