Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Oil & Unhappiness

I wonder if I had an impression of Will Wagler today because I sometimes get him and the other one mixed up. It was probably Will Wagler. I had different impressions today but one was of a boy working on something and I had thought with a hammer, but no I didn't see that at all, more just looking at a toy.

And the impression that stood out the most was of a middle eastern man after I had told my family how I feel some pastors are like scientists and are willing to degrade others or make them undignified and then at the end, give a little treat as a reward and expect everyone to be happy.

They said what did I mean, after my Dad first said tell me about something positive or think of something good and I said, "If I do, they torture me." I said, "The people who have been torturing me might stop and then I'll write about good and normal things or start to live a normal life and as soon as I do they torture me. They don't want me to talk about good things or sound normal. And whenever I do, or my life starts to take a positive turn, they torture me to bring out the negative."

He said what do you mean, and I said, "Okay, maybe I was tortured before, in my life, but I didn't realize it or recognize it was happening. But then they decided to do it right to my face, out in the open, knowing I knew and knowing that there is nothing wrong with my mind. They started doing it to severely affect my life."

They said, "You're going off the track, or what does that have to do..." and I said, "They started doing this when it looked like things were going well for me or that I might end up being successful. And everytime I start focusing on the good and sound normal, they JERK me back into torture to bring out the bad. They have been deliberately torturing me to create this."

My Dad was trying to say don't blame others but I said, "No, I mean, they do not WANT me to talk about good things, or to sound creative or intelligent, or to sound normal or to be able to make money. They punish me if I do. Just like they punish you and mom if you make good suggestions and advice for me and Levi."

"They don't want you to sound positive or do the best thing for your kids, or give good suggestions and I've seen them punish you if you anything good. They don't want that. They've wanted to control our entire family and keep us down. And everytime I try to do something good they torture me for it."

I said, "It's like pastors can be like scientists, who put a rat in a cage, and take a free rat, and put it in this cage and then they have all these people looking in and peering at it and say, "Now watch this!" and the rat goes through the maze and at the end, they give the rat, who has been totally degraded and had all dignity removed, a little treat. They expect that rat to be happy with the treat at the end which is nothing compared to what they went through by being degraded."

I said, "Even pastors..."

And they stared and said I was getting off track again and I said, "Some of these pastors care more about being part of a game than they really care about the Holy Spirit and what message God might want to share. They act like those scientists...They choose to degrade someone, some of them, just to get their game points. For example, that guy from Idaho, with the wife Kay, from West Virginia, the one named Bruce Russel with the brochure for "A Model for Evangelism"...he expected me to wear a purple jacket that day with a lable that said "nominal" on it and I didn't wear it and then he gets to his message and talks about "you do NOT want to be a NOMINAL christian and looks at me and I'm not wearing the jacket they wanted me to wear"....(I didn't say this, but my point is, that in humiliating me or degrading me before God when God knows I'm not a nominal christian, just to win some predictive thing at the sacrifice of my dignity is wrong).

And that was a very small thing. The point is that people have forced my family to be degraded and humiliated and then have all these people looking in to "watch" and "hear what they say next" or do, for their game, and the whole time they never want anything good from the people they torture. They're torturing us if we do good and NOT torturing us if we do bad or say negative things.

They're making threats and torturing badly enough that to escape this, when trapped, we're not free to make normal choices and are forced to take the path they want us to take, and it's not a good path. They punish us if we try to take the path we would normally take. And it's not small punishment. It's literally torture. In the United States of America.

Then, I said this while they disagreed but I said this and knew it was right. It's the truth.

(By the way, someone is torturing me now as I right this, so no, they're not giving it up because they're worried about getting into trouble)

My Dad said I'm still poisoning myself if I have the attitude I've had and I said, "No, they torture me if I try to be positive or do good, just like they torture you if you attempt to make better choices for your family."

And then I saw, in a flash with my eyes open, I saw this middle eastern man who was similiar in appearance to my Ex but middle eastern, and tall, and he was violent or trying to stop something being done to him that was causing this and it suddenly clicked. He was being confined and I don't know where but was upset. I saw him by himself with sort of white walls all around him or light, but just saw his full body and stature and that he was tortured.

I said, "I just saw this middle eastern man who was being tortured so he became violent or angry"..I said, "And I just realized, that's what they've done to peace loving people who are sitting around oil. They take peace loving people who are not initially doing any harm, and start provoking them and torturing them. Punishing them if they try to do good. And they WANT this because they WANT to bring out the bad so they have an excuse to go in and take the oil."

They tried to cut me off but I kept talking because it was a revelation of sorts.

I continued, "I had been researching online about this Canadian man who Canada threw into jail--I wonder if that's why they treated me like they did because I was researching it before I was tortured worse (or at all?) with my son--and it said they'd thrown him in jail and he was claiming he was intelligence and that he had evidence that proved the 9-11 was plotted by the U.S. and Canada (or something like that). This site stated the Canadians said it wasn't true that he was ever intelligence of any kind and they denied it. He was being held for something like espionage or something but they said he wasn't intelligence. I read this and about some other case that sounded like a cover up (involving mafia) at the same time. I was looking up all kinds of things. This was, looking back, at a time when my online activities even in my own home were surveilled. No one gave me the ideas, I found this stuff on my own. And I'm not like some of the people who are all conspiracy theory, but this specific case involving this one man sounded like it might be true...I later tried to find it and it had been removed off of the entire web and internet and I couldn't even find it in the cache. I had sent a couple of emails out about the mafia sounding thing because I thought it sounded weird, and I thought I had "figured something out" (I didn't know anything--just wondered) but then no one wrote back and we were in the middle of being tortured. Full on-speed ahead.

The only part I thought strange was how this case in Canada, which was a real case, disappeared completely.

But anyway, lots of "technology" related events happening, starting with FBI in Oregon, and then transferring to Washington and lots of old history with someone trying to beat a dead horse, and I had no idea then, at all, about how right I was on that count.

Punishment unending.

So no, aside from reading about this one imprisoned man in Canada who stated he had literal evidence and then was locked up, I never thought of any conspiracy and considered those who did to be far fetched.

However, after seeing my family tortured and forced out of any good option, and tortured if we even attempt to choose the good or make good suggestions to eachother, or try to suceed, and seeing how they have deliberately tortured us into being forced to be more negative, I realize this is what they've done with terrorists, to create terrorists for their own causes. And what's sick is that they've used the same techniques on their own citizens. I can very easily now correlate how the U.S. or certain power-seeking or greedy parties would deliberatey torture and harm peace loving people to react so that they and others have an excuse to harm them and take what they have or find a way to get to it.

Unhappiness and torture of their own citizens, for "oil".

Call it oil, or gold, or coal, talent, God-given gifts, an estate, a position,....if a group is determined to steal from peace loving people, I now know there are creative ways to get what you want.

If this is allowed to happen to us, to MY family, to profit others at our great and irreparable expense, do you think they wouldn't do the same to others in another country, just to get their hands on the asset they want, or in order to transfer power from the group they don't want, to one of their own that is willing to pay them favors.

My family is being tortured and we are not allowed to be free, in any way, shape, or form. We have no freedom. We're told to lie and focus on the weather and if we talk about anything good, try to do good, or make wise choices for ourselves, we are punished, literally, with torture, rape, assault, poisoning, deprivation of food, whatever they decide to do. And since the people doing this feel they have the backing of the U.S. government, they do whatever they want. They've robbed us. They've let my parents keep a few things to make it look normal, like they have a nice house or cars and clothes, and items, but in reality, we have been prisoners for a very long time. I didn't know it, when I wasn't tortured outright. I noticed others trying to obstruct my path or push me into directions not for me, but then it was outright torture.

Tonight is the night I found the correlation with how the U.S. tries to "create an enemy" or rally people against a group, and punishes them, forces them into even illegal activities under torture or threat of death or worse torture, and dictates every single choice, so that they can take what they want. Even if they don't make some of us look like an enemy, they use us and even pastors like scientists.

We are punished if we do good or make the best choices for ourselves. They don't allow my family to have the same options others have. We are forced to dumb ourselves down or be dumbed down, or to take a lower grade than our papers are worth, forced to tell our children to do things that are not the wise route and will damage their potential, forced to eat a certain diet as children...

"we must decrease so that they can increase"

They have forced us to the lowest levels of humanity so they can rise to power.

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