I am being drugged and medicated still.
100% positive. Which maybe has something to do with the very pronounced bad feeling I felt last night. I couldn't shake it.
I had a very very bad feeling from about 6:30 p.m.-8:30 p.m. or so. It was for about 2 full hours last night. I had mailed my mail and then walked home and was in my place and started sensing something bad. So I thought maybe it was because I had shouted at my mom, even though she did some things. But then I thought no, it's something else. I thought, I will check the news tomorrow to see if someone died or if there was a big conflict somewhere. The other thing I thought was maybe my son wasn't feeling okay and then the bad feeling just stopped all at once so I thought maybe he went to bed or fell asleep, if it was him. I don't know actually.
I know that at about 3:30 p.m I started almost shaking. I had the weird shaking feeling like people praying and I felt it all the way up to just past 4 p.m. I was trying to keep myself from visibly shaking even though it wasn't any medication, even though I've been doped up again. It was more like God or the Holy Spirit and something big, it felt.
I already knew someone had still been medicating me and I do believe my parents are involved. The night before last my Dad screamed at me and I thought he was even going to come after me but I turned around and said, "What are you going to do? beat me up?!!"
He was shouting, "STOP DOING WHAT YOU'RE DOING."
I said, "What am I DOING?"
He didn't even say what it was that I was "doing" that was so bad.
But he was furious and for the first time since I've been here, I thought he was going to do something. Instead of running away, and out of the sight of the public road or area where someone might see, I turned back and walked right up to his face and asked him "What are you going to do? Beat me UP?!!!" and he toned down and looked over to the road where I had glanced. I guess he thought twice.
Which is what a lot of people need to do from now on, regarding me....THINK TWICE before you start THREATENING me, DRUGGING me, and USING ME. THINK TWICE before you USE ME.
What I know, is that they know I'm being drugged and medicated and they are in on it.
And I had a patch of skin on my lower back about a week ago that was odd and now I have another whole section of skin that's the same, and I could tell by the feeling in my head that I had eaten something that was doped up.
All of my food and drink has come from my house and what I have in my place, or my parent's house. The only other thing I use that came from anywhere else is a face cream or moisterizer, and it doesn't have anything weird in it.
I have known I am still being medicated and doped up, because I'm not creative anymore like I used to be, and this is always something significant and apparent when I am NOT doped up. Also, I get angry easier but it is good anger, and healthy, and commensurate with the CRAP this country has allowed to me and my son.
This morning, after I had written this post (I came back to it), I brushed out my hair and had so much hair falling out it was in a baseball size ball. It was a ton of hair. I left it on the porch with a brick pinning this and the paper down which I wrote on to say, "Do not medicate me again. This is 1 day's worth of hair." (I guess that's what the U.S. likes to do to the "traditional Americans." Scalp them by falsely diagnosing them and trying to ruin their brains and minds. Getting family to go along with it.)
I knew something was wrong yesterday because my mom's printers have had all these problems and then she refused to sign a declaration agreeing there had been printer problems for a week.
That was the last straw. I said, "Then you're in on it."
My own mother was refusing to even confirm the printer had problems? I tried to get her to put it in writing because that's what she was saying to me, and I thought, "Anyone who tells me they can't sign a statement that truthfully confirms problems with 2 different printers at the same time is hiding something."
So I thought, "I have to get this in writing. I need to get my mom to confirm, in writing, that she is refusing to sign a Declaration about the broken and/or missing printers."
I told her she didn't have to say anything she was uncomfortable with. I have never, in my life, ever asked anyone to lie for me, or to say something that wasn't what they honestly felt or believed. So I said "If you don't want to say you know it affected my ability to get things out on time, that's fine. If you want to leave me out of it that's fine. All I'm asking for is for you to sign something that says yes, the printers had problems on such a date and it was both of them and that's it."
So she sent me an email that said she would, and then she got home and in person she refused.
She also had sent me email that suggested or confirmed I could print something from the house, now that the printer was working (supposedly), but when I sat down to do it, I was told to leave.
And that's when I lost it.
I said, "YOU are INVOLVED. There is NO reason why you wouldn't sign a statement just for printers, and keep me from getting this done, unless YOU were involved. What's wrong?! You and your family had something to do with Oliver being taken away from me? You don't want me to get the evidence that proves you had something to do with it?!!! Maybe THIS is why CANADIANS told me "DON'T CONTACT YOUR MOM." YOU HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH THIS."
So she refused to sign something about printers. I could not believe it. Then she refused to even let me print from the printer when it was working. I had to use change and quarters that I found lying around and my last $20.
Here's the thing. Either my mom and dad are "in on it" or they are doing what they're told to do and being blackmailed by the U.S. government and the mobsters who work with them.
And sure enough, I walk outside into this town, and it's just a circus, with people watching where I went, what I did, and the same idiots who have allowed torture of me trying to verify their govt. psychic predictions. The only plate number I wrote down was that of 2 cops driving by who passed me twice and made fun of me as they drove by.
I guess they get their orders from The Devil's Kitchen.
I grabbed the first thing out of my pocket and looking at it now, it's a business card for "Small Animals." For the Vetinarian Hospital. 249751 Oregon plates, black and white cop car. And the other number I have on here is from a different day and it's (if correct), 07056 Oregon. I have written next to it: "darkhaired woman behind van of idiot men saying "Wow"." At the time, I remembered, they appeared to be a group of either police or military and I guessed police and they had a woman who was connected to them who drove up very close to the van and I knew she was trying to protect them from my writing their plate number down after they harassed me.
I wrote down the cops because they had no excuse. They weren't even in civilian cars. They made fun of me from a government vehicle. 2 men, in a government vehicle, who made fun of me, and passed me twice to do it.
I haven't had anything to do with police in this town. But it's a good idea for me to be documenting how police feel free to harass me when they haven't even met me.
After these 2 officers harassed me from their govt. issued vehicle, I'm sure they knew where I was headed (the library) as it's the only place I go and guess who showed up? A cop. And then after that, another cop car pulled up and parked where I always walk across to go back.
They had 4 different police officers or their vehicles put in my path within a 2 hour period. And that's not including unmarked vehicles.
The cop who showed up in the library where I was already, was wearing a blue short sleeved shirt. Doing favors for Chris Rozollo or something guys? He talked to some woman who was checking me out the whole time and already there when I got there.
The 4th police vehicle was black and white and parked where I cross the street to get back to the house. I've made the same trip and gone the same route, every single time I've been out. So it's not like they're making guesses. There wasn't a cop in the car. So that's just sort of like making a sick point isn't it? Just parked there, when it wasn't there when I walked to the library, but there when I walk back?
It wasn't like there was a cop "looking out" for me. He just parked his vehicle there and left it, after another of the same type drove past me twice, harassing and making fun of me, and then showing up in the library.
I mailed off documents for my passport yesterday.
It was for their "second request" and the letter said it had to be sent or received within 90 days. So I sent it out on the last day that I had left, after having to pay to make copies and get it out. They sent the request to my wrong address and didn't send my birth certificate or photo back to the right place either, even after I called their offices in New Orleans. The last time I had called, I found out someone had not updated the computer for my new address, even though I gave it to them as soon as I moved to Coquille. Someone had deleted it or something and then a supervisor said it was just "hidden" in a different system. It wasn't "hidden". I had updated it to the normal system.
So I had to find my papers and I sent it off certified mail and wrote a note about how I had not received their letter at the date they put on it but here were my documents.
I kept my receipt showing I had sent it out within the timeframe it was supposed to be received. It was in U.S. government hands as of yesterday.
I am using the ugly photo because it shows what the U.S. did to me. My eyes are totally messed up and I have an unnatural expression on my face...Do I want a better photo? No. I want the truth out there like it is. Here is what the U.S. did to me. Let the world think whatever they want.
When I mailed off my motion to the court, to extend time (which I may have to amend for continuance or a different rule), I sent it in pre-stamped envelopes and then certified the one going to the State Appeals offices. When the clerk was taking my envelopes, she forgot they were already paid for and I said, "These are already paid for" when she started ringing them up. So she said, "You're right" and said she'd give me a stamp in return. So she gives me a stamp with a dog on it. I said, "No. I don't want this." I said, "Do you have something with a U.S. flag on it?" and she said "No." Then the said, "We have ones that say 'Celebrate'...." and I said, "No. I don't want that either--How about you give me something that's traditional American or you can reimburse me my money." So she reimbursed my money.
How about it, U.S.
You got something that looks the way it's supposed to look?
Because if you're "out" or don't have what you're supposed to have anymore, I want my fucking money back.
I was born in this country with U.S. citizenship and it means something or it doesn't. If you can't make good on what this country, or my citizenship, is supposed to be about, I think you owe me a REFUND.
What this country owes me and my son is a major settlement check for our damages.
I got home last night and put in "Blood Diamond" and watched it from the point of the white S. African guy (Daniel) telling the American journalist to "Piss off." I had left off there and written about how I had paused it, for a "pregnant pause."
Then after I filed my Motion describing withheld evidence by The State and U.S. federal government, I went back to "Blood Diamond" and watched from the "piss off" section to the part through the children being trained to be soldiers and abused, up to the part where they are listing off their names and what they do.
I just felt serious deep bad vibe. So I cut it off there and realized "yeah, I know what's happening to my son and I don't need to see more of this movie now." So I went to a VHS tape and it had stopped at a comedy and then 8 seconds was listed as a movie and then Mrs. Doubtfire. So I pressed fastforward, not seeing where it was going and then stop and play and there was a little boy with his arms raised up to the sky, all the way up. Both arms in the air, into a high "V".
I should say...I stopped "Blood Diamond" and then I prostrated myself on the floor and prayed to God. Next, I was fastforwarding the VHS tape and hit play at the boy with the high V. Nothing preceded it. I had stopped to the exact spot. And then I watched from here, to seeing his cowboy hat with the feather in it and he's riding a bull and someone says, "Okay now, bear down." He digs his heels into that bull.
Which made me think about a boy going from being exploited and used as a "soldier" to triumph. And I stopped to fastforward again but remembered the words "bear down" and how it lined up with what I had said about a pregnant pause.
From pregnant pause to bear down. And then I stopped at it was still 8 seconds and some talk but continued and then when I was at Mrs. Doubtfire it was at the part where Robin Williams is saying, "I will do anything to get my kids back. Anything."
And I still had this bad feeling into the comedy but after about an hour it went away. It stopped all at once.
I went to bed and woke up to the U.S. torturing me again. I didn't wake up naturally. I woke up to something pulsing my heart and causing my heart to have these sharp jabs and it was U.S. federal government.
And then I wrote this post, to the first sentence after writing about what happened at the post office yesterday, up to the first sentence about Blood Diamond, and I sat down in front of the heater because I was cold, and my Grandpa Garrett came to mind.
The U.S. is dealing with him.
I realized, this country is still having to deal with my Grandpa Robert Garrett, Sr.
I was thinking about what I had said to the post office clerk what I was told in reply. I asked for a U.S. flag. And the U.S. refused to give my Grandpa Garrett's kids a flag. Which is to say, something that looks like what it's supposed to look like. A real country. A true honoring of our certificate of birth. And the next thing I was saying, was then something that was "traditional American". And they didn't have that either. But I remembered, this morning, that for my birthday every year, my Grandpa Garrett sent me a traditional American card. The traditional Americans were the Native Americans that the U.S. Government killed, forced to relocate, tortured, exploited, and raped.
I realized, my Grandpa Garrett was psychic and he was one-up on and over the U.S. government.
And after all of HIS CONTRIBUTIONS to THIS COUNTRY, if the fucking U.S. government couldn't give his kids a FLAG, he didn't want one for his funeral either.
Why BOTHER.
He foresaw into the future and the U.S. has been exploiting and using his children and relatives just like they exploited the Native Americans, who were smart, hospitable, and tried to negotiate equal living and friendly trade. Not only that, they OWNED the land.
So I think when my Grandpa Garrett made some...let's say..."contributions"...to this country, if they couldn't even give his kids something that looked like a flag, how about a REFUND.
REIMBURSE me.
We want our money back, and YOU owe US.
They couldn't give me a U.S. flag, and they couldn't give me some thing traditional American, so I was given a full refund of my money that I gave to the government, after reminding them:
IT'S ALREADY BEEN PAID FOR
So you can either DO what you SAID you were going to do, or you can deal with a Robert Garrett, Sr. GHOST that you do NOT want to deal with.
And yeah, I tend to think God is backing that ghost.
So where's the backpay U.S.?
I believe my Grandfather put something into a pot that you're hiding.
Where's the refund?
You want to reimburse us for what we gave you and what you stole from us?
I have not seen a check for monies to each individual member of the Garrett family yet. We're waiting, by the way. We want our money. WHERE'S THE MONEY?!
You expect US to think WE owe YOU something?
WHERE is our FUCKING money.
We gave and you stole from us. YOU stole from US, not the other way around and get that straight.
Not only that, we all have these certificates of birth that are supposed to mean something.
So far, you haven't honored them.
What's wrong? something wrong with your credit?
You couldn't give us anything that resembles a "flag" and you don't even have anything that stands for honor that's traditional American. So we want a reimbursement for our money.
It is the U.S. that killed my Grandpa Garrett and they did it with the same technology they've been using against his kids and grandkids. His heart attacks were triggered by U.S. technology.
This country is being run by gangsters.
Which is why the only reason I was safe for a short while was to look like I was marrying into one of them.
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